Reconstructing Random

He's a short way to fall from grace

2012-02-10T00:22:00.002+08:00

Trust is such a fascinating concept. Takes forever to build. So quick to demolish.

But I guess all of life is that way. It reminds people of the inherent fragility of that which we take for granted. It quite possibly could just be there for it to be a lesson. A test to see how you fare in spite of it.

On a completely related note, assumptions are the antecedent of the shit hitting the fan. It's the unknown variables of the situation that drive people to think "Maybe". But Maybe's are just that. May. Be. Possibility. Just an infinite number of scenarios and theories.

What if it isn't this and it isn't that? Where does that leave everyone?

It's been a surreal couple of days. Both for the shock factor but also the humbling factor. The idea of such a strange situation befalling us. And also the idea that everyone is striving to keep things together and find a solution. Together.

I do not doubt any. Definitely at a loss for words, ideas and all that crap.

Way to go with being vague, Millie.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

Make me shake me fall to the floor

2012-02-09T23:48:00.002+08:00

Since Sunday, productivity levels spiked a fair bit during the late hours of the night. Possibly out of sheer desperation realizing that the 4-day weekend was almost over and it's about time. Urgency sure is a great motivator.

It's been a week where I find myself being slightly more settled back in University and a little bit more in control of things compared to how it was for the past few weeks. Does wonders for mental health !

Tuesday night called for fun times as a "complete" Kakis gathering was held at Andrea's in conjunction of her and Shu May's impending departure for Australia. It was nice to see everyone again as usual, and in the comfort of home which allowed us to just chill and be as loud as we please. From the 7 year old birthday party-esque food to the incessant laughter, it was certainly a night to remember. And possibly, for all the wrong reasons as well.

Wednesday didn't fare too well cause I scratched the car for the first time in the parking lot. About time, really. It was more the idea that I was two months short of getting my CDL without a single scratch on the car that upset me compared to the actual scratches. Coupled with 30 minutes searching for parking and disturbingly hot weather, I was pretty much in a foul mood for a good hour or two.

Felt like a class A nerd today.

cheers. more later perhaps?

Why must I waste my time with facts and figures that never add up anyway

2012-02-05T23:53:00.003+08:00

If there's one thing I do better than procrastinating is my sheer ability to not focus.

Over the last few days I found that I dedicated a whole lot of my time towards sitting in front of the laptop to do my assignment in advance so that I don't have to rush before the deadline. But out of all the time I put aside to do my work, I use only a fraction to actually DO the work. Instead, I alternate between checking Facebook, Tumblr, Emails, Reddit, Blogs. It's not even that I'm trying to procrastinate. I just feel I have to check in case there's something I need to attend to. And then somehow I find that an hour of my time has passed.

And then when it finally comes down to doing my work, I do about 20 minutes of work before I tell myself I need a break. Which is warranted cause I did make good headway and am working ahead of schedule...but yet it isn't something that is completely needed.

If I were able to actually spend an hour working instead of two hours alternating between working and mindlessly surfing the internet, I would be a lot less frazzled and a lot freer.

I never really realized how bad my attention span was.

Oh, Internet. What have you done to me?

Cheers. More later perhaps?

I'm in the business of misery

2012-01-31T20:33:00.002+08:00

Last day of January. Time has definitely passed rather fast, but it feels like it's been a long month all the same. Hasn't been the best of months, but I find that the start of the year has never been a walk in the park. Here's to hoping the year improves as it goes along?

The most exciting thing that happened to me today was winning the free mounting board that the lecturer brought to show us what we needed for our assignment. Then he offered it to whoever could tell him which was the happiest country in the world, and surprisingly I got it right. Finally some useless trivia put to good use !

Calm before the storm.

Decisions to make.

Now you're just somebody that I used to know

2012-01-28T00:26:00.002+08:00

Things I have done:

1. Walk up a hill in bukit kiara wearing gladiators. And subsequently getting my first blister. (On a related note, you're actually not suppose to pop blisters. The accumulated fluid is meant to protect the blistered part.

2. Attend Pn Su's open house with Mich & Shern. It was lovely seeing all the old teachers again, although there was a definite surreal atmosphere for me. It's funny to think how we've ended up chatting along with the teachers in a non-school setting. Seeing teachers outside of school used to be akin to seeing bigfoot in a shopping mall. Strange. Strange. Strange. I think it is also a splendid marker that I am getting old. Yes.

3. Visiting relatives where we drink tea, eat meringue biscuits and play cho tai ti. All while sharing stories of high school antics and teenage experiences with the cousin and niece who is 14. 14 is a good year. You're probably obnoxious to everybody, but you feel kind of really cool. Even if you actually aren't.

4. Subang house hopping at odd hours of the night. Mich and eve came over to my house where we played cho tai ti while watching Princess Diaries 2. When you can recite the lines, you know you've watched it too many times. Still such a comic show. Once daph came, we headed to her place where we played mahjong. Then just before midnight we ventured to the ends of the world that is Mich's house where we played with her dogs for an hour. What is the point? No clue but it was fun.

5. Frisbee in some park on some Friday evening with the college peeps, Jack and Kareem. After 5 minutes we realized we were all gloriously unfit and had pathetic excuses for stamina. But then again, we did try to play a full size field with only 6 people.

Now... work.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

Chinese New Year 2012

2012-01-24T23:35:00.003+08:00

The first two days of the Chinese New Year have come to a close, with only a few more days for the merriment and festivities to die down before everyone returns to their usual routines. It's been going rather well so far, nothing quite out of the ordinary. The usual family picture, the usual food, the usual people, the usual gambling, the usual running around after children. Just the usual.

As tiresome as family time can be, the holidays are always a splendid time for getting together and enjoying each other's company. It's a boisterous crowd and there are always someone's antics to laugh at so it's all good until the next person decides to start bickering with someone else. All in a day's work.

Sometimes it's hard to remember just how much time has passed and how everyone is growing up.Those who were once crawling are blabbering nonstop and those who were once non-existent are running all over the place. Nothing else to make one feel old!

Finally, it's showtime. Now to decide if it's too late.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

Yeti sighting in Kuala Lumpur

2012-01-22T15:51:00.003+08:00

A good start to the CNY break came in the form of the arrival of John Green's latest novel, The Fault in Our Stars. Thankfully it only took 11 days, instead of my expected 20. To begin with, when John announced he was going to sign all the pre-orders of the book, I knew I had to get myself a copy. After delaying it for a a few weeks, my friends and I finally got around to placing the order and the wait began.

And so it came. I was really excited to open the package and see what colour Sharpie I got, and whether there was a Yeti or a Hanklerfish in it. So I opened the box, marvelled at that gorgeous blue cover and picked up the first one to open. Green J-Scribble. Next book. I flipped it open, saw what was inside and jumped up, did a really odd happy dance while screaming pretty loudly. A YETI A YETI. A purple one, to be exact. Standing on a Blue J-Scribble. The slow opening sped up as I rushed to open the others to find another three J-Scribbles.

BUT OH MY GOD, A YETI. THE ODDS OF IT.

The fault may be in our stars,

but the Yeti was in it too.

YAY.

And then I find out the next morning that Hank had reblogged my tumblr post. Double excitement.

Oh, the things only Nerdfighters would understand.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

Rumour has it

2012-01-20T18:44:00.002+08:00

One week on from the last post and the only thing I can say is that I'm glad it's over. There's something insanely suffocating about the past two weeks. Different set of causes, but both bearing the same consequences. Such is the tone for the next few months.

I think it has to do with the start of the year. Early parts of the year have never been rosy for me at least. At least there's some sort of joy in knowing January ends in ten days?

Over the past two weeks the best lesson I've learnt is that asking questions pays off. I have an inherent curiosity for things, but I tend to be a fair bit inhibited when it comes with actually posing questions. Spoken like a true specimen of the Malaysian school system. But over the fortnight I found myself needing to fill gaps in my knowledge and there were questions aplenty. In a way it's been rather liberating.

On a different but related note, bitchy levels on my part have been at a rather fluctuating pace lately. I hate knowing I've been bitchy, but I know when I am... well most of the time.

Thankful for the fact the people around me are so tolerant.

Chinese New Year is impending and I've been very apathetic about it. Having to go out and shop for stuff has only been done with dread and a whole lot of whining. I treat it more like a chore as opposed to a celebration. But here's to hoping it'll be a good few days and that the break will be much needed respite.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

Know I'll always love you but right now I just don't like you

2012-01-13T09:19:00.002+08:00

It has not been a good week. My anxiety levels are off the charts. My heart beat is 10% faster on average. I've been distracted by my thoughts and hopelessly avoiding everything else.

I don't do well with mistakes. I'm too hopelessly afraid of making a mistake in my choices, that the sheer act of making choices is terrifying. I see everyone around me staying cool, calm and composed. And here I am in a state of frantic stress.

The question is: Take the easy way out, with better chances of keeping my grade up. Or throw myself into a subject that could be beneficial to the future but has a strong chance of ruining my grade.

I should know what my own capabilities are. But I don't. Because this is all new territory. So many things are new and unfamiliar about the situation. As much as I try to gather information, I'm bombarded with completely contradicting advice from both sides. It's my decision to make, but I'm completely frazzled just trying to come to a conclusion. Heck, it's not even a life and death situation at all.

It really boils down to a question of whether I will regret making one decision over the other.

For want of more eloquent terms, I feel like shit.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

The world spins madly on

2012-01-09T23:38:00.002+08:00

Sunday was a reunion of sorts with the Uni group as the girls and Meng gathered at Ayesha's for the first time since early December. By our standards, that was a long time. We spent a fair bit of time sitting by the pool catching up and occasionally getting hit by flying balls being kicked around by the children who were around. And Meng fell off his chair. That was funny.

After much dilly dally, we headed to the Departure Lounge where Breakfast was had for Lunch, at Tea Time. Yep. Somehow or another we all ended up back at my place, so we watched Grey's. After that we played a really long game of Monopoly Deal.

Year Two began today, and it was nice to be back in University and see everyone again after the break. It wasn't long enough for everyone to change but long enough to miss being around them. Training the brain to pay attention was difficult.

And then there was Advanced Research Methods. A class thought by a lecturer who can make you shit in your pants (there's no nice way to put it) and be in awe all at the same time. I pretty much spent the entire 3 years on a strange mix of adrenaline, aniety and caffeine. There was a lot of hushed whispers and hand wringing.

SMALL WORLD MAI GAWD.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

Now you're just somebody that I used to know

2012-01-08T00:04:00.002+08:00

Year Two begins in +/- one day. It's going to be a very stressful week ahead.

After a good week of hermitting at home, Friday night called for dinner with the girls before Jean leaves yet again. It was a small turnout, but fun nonetheless. The usual pointless conversations and incessant laughter. After dinner, everyone came back to my place to have a look see and watch me give a show & tell of the oddities that I own. Fun times.

Just had the most fascinating "allergic reaction" to some unknown object/food item. First my eye was swollen, and then I started to become itchy at random places. Over the new two hours, I found that my entire legs were covered in welts. It was pretty disgusting to look at but all too fascinating. Thankfully after liberal amounts of nutmeg oil slathered all over, they went down and are now reduced to barely-there leftovers and itches. Now if only I knew what happened....

Cheers. More later perhaps?

Lasted forever, ended so soon.

2012-01-05T18:45:00.002+08:00

5 days into the New Year and this is what I've done :

Sleep. Eat. Watch shows/movies. Trawl the Interwebz. Exercise.

Quite productive, no?

The only thing worth noting down was lunch with Shern & Daph on Tuesday followed by a visit to Shern's new place. The fourth member of O_O has moved into Subang. Now we all sit around and talk about ways to get in and out of Subang as quick as possible or what to eat. Shared solidarity.

The new semester is starting next week and as usual my anxiety levels have spiked dangerously. This is something that happens at the start of EVERY school year or semester. Completely unfounded but always leaves me in quite a mess. The new timetable is out and the need to pick electives is enough stress for me.

People complain about doing assignments or studying, I complain about choosing electives and timetables. The need to factor in interest, workload and lecturer is bad enough, and then there's the need to factor in logistical manners according to class times. It always leaves me feeling quite flustered.

Ugh. Oh well.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

So this is the new year and I don't feel any different

2012-01-01T21:01:00.003+08:00

And so the supposed "end of the world" year has arrived.

I spent the last few hours of the year with some of the kakis and a bunch of other random people who dropped in throughout the night. We had a barbeque at eve's, with enough food to feed an army but not enough people to eat it. So basically from the hours of 8-10pm, I just sat there stuffing myself full of kebabs and sausages. Needless to say, by 10pm I kind of wanted to die a little bit.

At midnight, we all wandered to the road outside of the house to watch the fireworks; even making our own vocal fireworks at one point or another. After a while we changed locations and headed to Danni's house for no apparent reason other than a change of pace. There we toasted the new year with some champagne, a drink I actually really enjoy as it is considerably milder than wine. Accompanied with a midnight snack in the form of Salmon, it was a pretty fancy schmancy first meal of 2012.

Later we retired to the confines of couches and beanbags and watched Scary Movie 3 before calling it a night. Seeing as to how it was already almost 4 am by then, I postponed my departure til morning light appears. So we all set up camp on the floor in Eve's living room and mumbled incoherently for the next few hours before exhaustion overcame us.

There was minimal alcohol involved, zero loud dancing music and a far cry from a crowd but it was indeed a memorable New Year's Eve celebration. Surrounded by the loved ones and new friends and phone calls from those not around, it was just the way to bid farewell to a great year and welcome to a new one.

So far so good.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

Twenty Eleven

2011-12-31T19:01:00.000+08:00

2010 was a splendid year, and so I went into 2011 thinking it wouldn't be able to match up to theyear that has passed. In the first half of the year, that certainly rang true but it definitely pickedup towards the end into yet another memorable year.

Yet another testament to the ongoing trend of the year improving as it goes along.

One of the wishes I had for the new year was merely to maintain the status quo of the year before. As such, as everything around me changed I found myself feeling a bit lost between past and present. It took a few months for me to realize that life moves on and nothing is constant before I chose to move along with the flow instead of worshiping the moments of the past. Trying to bridge distances is a lot of balance work between the past and present.

There came a point within the year where some relationships started fading as some became stronger and I was questioning whether it was possible to hold all things dear. Thankfully the situation rectified itself in due time, although here I sit thinking if things would have been different if I had played a more different role in the situation.

Ego and inhibitions played another central role for me throughout the year. Some matters which I should have and could have acted on much earlier on were left untouched due to the mere factors of preserving an ego and mountains of inhibitions. Which leads to me being one year down the line and no further than at the start.

2011 was a year of venturing more towards being an "adult" with increased maturity and responsibility. I found myself doing things I didn't think I would be doing like playing chaffeur and picking up my niece from school. I even got myself a legitimate part time job as a barista during my semester break. It takes small matters like these to put into perspective that I am slowly shedding the teenage years. This was also the year when my peers began to leave the country for education abroad, a true sign of the changes of the future that have and will come.

Just like 2010, 2011 was another transitory year as I went from college to university. Starting as an undergraduate wasn't that much of a change as I merely proceeded from Foundation into the Degree program. Nonetheless, it was still a change of pace and a change of environment. I started out seeing uni just as a place to be with things to do, but slowly I found myself being more and more attached to the place. Damn.

I moved houses this year, leaving behind the city where I spent ten of what are probably the most formative years of my life in. Along with that was the death of the dog who was very much in all of those years spent in PJ. I loved staying in PJ, and would move back there in a heartbeat but now I'm 15 minutes away and back where I originally started out as a child. It's just like a never ending circle. There's got to be some deep symbolism going on here.

This year to me, was really about learning more and more about how to be comfortable with one's self. I found myself surrounded by great friends who really reminded me how important it is to stay true to the person who you are. Other people don't dictate the way your life is run, and the realization of that is one that really does make living a lot more enjoyable. If skipping in malls or breaking out into song is something that you enjoy, go ahead. For next year, I strive to continue this confidence and apply it into more aspects of my life.

2012 approaches and I am both excited and nervous about it. End of the year or not, it's a year for more growth, more experiences and more love.

What's up, 2012?

Cheers. More later perhaps?

Afternoons run for cover and full moons just wonder

2011-12-30T00:55:00.002+08:00

When I shop, size is my ultimate concern. So when I find things that fit me, I buy it without a second thought. Moments like that don't occur very often. Oh the perils of being vertically challenged.

Some nights I wonder just how much the past has affected the present.

I spent Wednesday afternoon with Ade where we watched Sherlock Holmes and I fell asleep. Later, we joined Wai Meng and Wai Hong for tea. It had been almost two weeks since I last saw the people from Uni. I do miss their company.

Sometimes wandering around shopping malls alone is oddly therapeutic.

I need to go to the gym.

the engine honks a humble tune, a melody of rubber and lead

2011-12-26T03:44:00.004+08:00

3.45 am and almost an hours spent going throught 2011's blog posts in preparation for writing the recap of the year.

Nostalgia is at the core of my being.

Sometimes I think it is very unhealthy.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

RIP Big Ears

2011-12-25T02:09:00.002+08:00

RIP Big Ears

I never really did take any pictures of you. That's tragic.

So the dog died a couple hours shy of Christmas. He had been sick for the past few weeks, but we took him home from the vet as he seemed to be getting better. But apparently not.

Just before dinner time we got a call saying he was vomiting blood and was pretty sick so the father went over to check on him and clean him up. We figured he'd at least make it through the night. After the Christmas dinner ended we went over to Pohpoh's house to check on him and he was already dead by then.

Big Ears was named so because he had such pointy ears that kind of looked like Dingo ears. I guess we were not very imaginative with names. I remember him coming into the PJ house compound on the eve of Deepavali because he was scared of the fireworks that were going of. He never did leave.

He wasn't one of those dogs that you cuddled up to in bed. He was one of those dogs that accompanied you when you went to the back to do laundry. The ones that sit by your feet and eventually become the your footrest because it's so conveniently placed.

He was always the dog that went out every mating season and got himself injured in the process. Then it was the same cycle every year of him coming back half dead and us nursing him back to life. There were a few close calls even.

But he was the dog that kept you safe.

It was nice having you around for those ten years, Big Ears.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

I feel like a short stop along third base

2011-12-25T01:40:00.003+08:00

Thursday was the Chinese Winter Solstice, so I spent the day eating tong yuin. It was nice. Even if it really is just flour balls in sugar syrup. After dinner I headed to some place near Sunway Giza to catch PJ's band play as well as a surprise birthday celebration of sorts. I got to hold the cake. I didn't trip so that was an accomplishment all on it's own. Wasn't there for too long, but there was music and conversation so that was nice. The place was pretty fancy too.

The next day I christmas shopped for the nieces/nephews in Toys R Us. It took a lot longer than I expected considering I couldn't figure out what children play with these days. And then there was the age appropriate-ness factor. Like for instance, I thought 8 year old girls still played Barbie Dolls... I was highly mistaken.

As dusk approached I found myself in SS2Mall with the rest of the Kakis (with a few missing!) for our annual (well two years running!) Christmas Dinner. It was nice to see everyone again, including Jean who was back from Wales. Funnily enough, the last dinner we had was when Jean left so there was a running joke that there was no need for dramatic farewells and what not cause it really made no difference at all.

The night was one of the better nights as everyone was very relaxed and it was just a lot of catching up and mindless chatter. We even had time to switch locations three times considering we started out so early. When we were gathered around one table in Chatime, it was quite reminiscent of the SA canteen table of the past years. Just a good reminder that no matter how much time has passed, some things never change.

The family Christmas Dinner this year was held on the eve, at my house for the first time. It was a marginally smaller and more dramatic affair this time around, but it was still a good time spent with the family. There was turkey, pasta, boiled potatoes and vege and some corn salad. I spent the few hours before dinner cooking with mum and Mei, and we didn't burn the house so that was good. Me and Mei took it upon ourselves to carve the turkey with the aid of Youtube videos. It was a messy affair which ended up looking a bit more like we were butchering the turkey, but there was edible food at the end of it!

I kind of really like being an aunt to my nieces/nephews. Time spent with them is always pretty lovely.

Cheers. More later perhaps?
Cheers. More later perhaps?

Vast knowledge comes with a price

2011-12-21T23:26:00.001+08:00

Last night, in a rather impromptu fashion, I joined Megan, Bernard and company to volunteer for Reach Out KL. Reach Out distributes food to the homeless of KL, going to various locations. We got to KL just shy of 12am, excited and eager to dive right into this new experience. Unfortunately expectations always lead to disappointment, and disappointment was had.

As the length of the food run is dependent on the amount of food procured from the donators, yesterday's one was extremely short given that only 30 or so packet of foods were available. As some of them had gone the week before and went on a run that lasted til 3 am, it was quite a potong stim moment. Nonetheless, the point of going was to gain experience and that was still done, no matter the length of it.

We visited only one spot in Masjid India, but even so it was a humbling experience to see so many without a roof on their head. Although some looked like the stereotypical hobo type person, some just didn't seem like they should be there. We took the chance to speak to the leader of that day's food run, a person with 5 years worth of experience who still was as dedicated as when he began. It's admirable to see young adults (<35) who are committed enough to do this on a weekly basis. There is still hope left for humanity after all.

Something he said struck me, which was that there's a fine line between us with a roof over our heads and them on the streets. The homeless obviously never intended to end up there, but a chain of events inevitably caused them to call the streets their home. The question is, how do we avoid those chain of events? Or even better, are they even avoidable?

Since it was such a short run, we decided to make use of the fact that we all traveled certain distances and so we found ourselves at a Mamak overlooking KLCC. It was a motley bunch of people, some whom I was meeting for the first time. Nonetheless, the conversation was good and many laughs were had. As much as the the point of going to KL was to volunteer, meeting new people brings life to new conversations which are very much as experience building as volunteering. Small things count too.

Tonight was spent with the original college four, and it was spent catching up given the last one we had was a few months ago. Although I have friends who are closer and with many more years behind us, these are the people I characterize my college years with. We even got free cake in Starbucks. That was a nice surprise.

Christmas weekend is approaching and the days building up to it seem rather activity filled. Yay.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

Down in the valley with the whiskey rivers

2011-12-16T23:41:00.002+08:00

Wednesday was spent with early morning birthday breakfast with PJ, after which time was spent in Mamak G with Ade, Chloe and Will while we waited to find out what happened to Ayesha and Sofia who expertly disappeared without us. That was a long sentence. Then there was "lunch" with the two girls and their plus ones, in lieu of a goodbye lunch of sorts for the next three weeks. Separation anxiety, lulz.

Star Wars Lego at BV II is pretty cool.

Thursday was an official hermit holiday day. Sleep. Read. Eat. Sleep. Gym. Yep.
Then dinner with the junior tater where I pretty much just watched her eat the world while I played a really frustrating game with bouncing penguins.

Friday morning I went to Ayesha's place to sleep after dropping off the brother. Since I said I'd be there are 8, she chose to not sleep instead of having to wake up at ungodly hours. As a result, I found her in what can only be described as a sleep deprived drunken stupor. We went to a mamak to tapau food in this state. It was hilarious. And then we slept. It was cool. After consuming the breakfast we bought a good 3 hours before, we sat by the garden and I listened to Ayesha ramble on and on in her drunken stupor. Fun times.

After resuming chauffeur duties and getting stuck in the jam, I finally found my way to Taipan for tea with O_O It was kind of cool to know that by the end of the month, we'll all be reunited in the hellhole of traffic that is Subang. These are my people.

Current holiday productivity level: High

My ulcer hurts.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

Only time will tell if I am right or I am wrong

2011-12-14T20:59:00.003+08:00

Year One officially finished yesterday. That was quick.

Looking back to blog posts from January when Degree started, it was a good reminder to how different the year has turned out from what I expected it would be. All the apprehension over Degree life being completely unmanageable has so far been disproved, although there is much more to come. Classes turned out to be more the enjoyable affair than torture, even though I still find myself asleep sometimes. From the way things are going, I can safely say taking this path in Psychology wasn't a mistake.

I could probably have spent first year a little more productively given that there was ample time to do so, but when do I ever participate in things with such gungho? Nevertheless, I'm not entirely disappointed in what I've done this year, given that I didn't completely withdraw into my own little nook. I reckon with a little bit more egging from the people around me, I'll assimilate a fair bit more into the extra-curricular side of things.... or not. We'll see.

But I reckon the best part about year one was being given the chance to meet the people I met and forge the friendships I forged. There's a lot to be said about the role mutual experience and proximity plays in these matters, but if the pieces fit, why question? It's quite amusing to think how at the start of the year I was pretty adamant about the fact that even if I didn't make any close friends, I'd be just fine considering I have the ones from school and college. I find myself eating those words given the fact that "close" is an understatement.

Some friends are old, some are new. Some are friends because there is no way we wouldn't have come across each other, some are friends purely by accident. I guess that's just the way the pieces fit. The same way Foundation was a chance to meet people I wouldn't normally have come across in my world, Degree is just a continuation of that.

Here's to being thankful for a good year one, and the highest hopes for a good year two as well.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

Hold on, what did you say?

2011-12-10T00:37:00.003+08:00

Relevance.

I get so angry that I implode. That can't be healthy.

Other people's impulses is going to be death of me.

Not a particularly good day in my books.

Oh, trials and tribulations.

Cheers. More later perhaps

You and you alone can break my fall

2011-12-08T18:02:00.004+08:00

Classes for year one are all done and dusted, and the final closing will be the two papers I have to sit for on Tuesday. Then everybody disappears for a few weeks before we all get back together for year two. Oh, dear.

It's been a good week of sorts. Contrary to the fact that the final week before exams are usually the busiest, it's been a week spent maximizing break times by doing... absolutely nothing productive. From trips to Ampang to pick up stuff and buy chicken rice, to lounging on tables waiting to be picked up and even catching Breaking Dawn I. With that being said, we did study. At some point or another.

Watching Breaking Dawn made me want to die a little bit inside. WHY. WHY DID THAT HAPPEN TO ME?

The lulz that are incited when happening upon really strange names when doing marketing calls.

Happy times are happy.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

What can I do but sing this valley winter song I wrote for you?

2011-12-05T19:48:00.003+08:00

The weekend was spent in a rather unassuming manner which involved some semblance of a social life, and then spending an entire day cooking breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Even though I'm no cooking virtuoso, chopping garlic is freakishly therapeutic.

Saturday night was spent at The Bee for Bloc 520 with a motley combination of college friends, SA friends and primary school friends. Oh the lulz. It was such a surreal experience all at once since I didn't expect to see half the people I saw. It was kind of cool to have a mini SSP reunion in the most unexpected of places.

As much as I enjoyed the company, the highlight of the night for me was enjoying some good live music, with specific attention given to The Impatient Sisters. Quite honestly one of the best musical acts to surface from Malaysia. All bias aside from the fact that a friend is in the band, they make good, original music.

Last week of classes already. That was fast.

Sometimes the best conversations come from putting together an assortment of people together. Throw in the timeless topic of "checklists", and you're good to go.

Currently nursing a cup of tea because I can't stop sniffling. Joy.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

Some day the weight of the world will give you the strength to go

2011-12-02T20:59:00.004+08:00

December December. Let's make the most of it, shall we?

One week left of classes, then finals, then year one is over. How did this happen all so quickly?

As much as I love being around people, sometimes staying home or running errands by myself is oddly therapeutic. Sometimes I CAN stop talking.

But sometimes, in the dead of the night, it's the most unhealthy thing I can do.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

Who's that girl? Who's that girl?

2011-12-01T00:11:00.002+08:00

Good weekend/week is good.

- Watching Crazy, Stupid, Love with Samo in all our glorified psychotic manner. Sudden pausing of shows to discuss something or just enjoy Ryan Gosling included.

- Pleasant Shopping & Coffee afternoon with Le Madre

- Playing " I KNOW THAT FACE " with the HMC yearbook.

- Project Liber8 and the mindless conversation that occured.

- Going to mainblock to collect something only to find out that it has been posted to me.

- Wasting away 4 hours of my life just like I've always done.

- Dinner with O_O after literally months of hiatus. Time may have passed and life may have gone on, but some things never change. Even if it means I am the one that gets teased during dinner.

Being happy for what others have.

Some semblance of progress ? Questionable.

Being able to see a good portion of the people I love over the span of a few days? Two thumbs up.

The realization that it's December already. Oh dear lord, where did my year go?

Unstructured Blog Post? Yep. It happens.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

Couldn't see you shine and shimmer right in front of my eyes

2011-11-25T20:03:00.002+08:00

First world problems: Picking a network name and password for the WiFi that is adequately nerdy, humourous and unique.

Driving around in circles before finally parking at some random street in Bukit Damansara to decide what to eat. And then proceeding to take a further ten minutes of whining about how hungry we are before picking a direction to drive in. Yes, just a direction.

Cheap Ice Cream moments. It's been a while. Sense of familiarity that comes with that single scoop of ice cream, although with entirely different people altogether.

Seven minute naps can be lifesavers.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

Gratitude.

2011-11-24T23:39:00.002+08:00

Today is Thanksgiving. I may not celebrate Thanksgiving, but it's a good opportunity to think about what I'm thankful for. Here goes:

For family that I can spend time with no matter how stressful it can get.

For friends who will entertain me through public transport rides, or who wait until I get onto one.

For people who understand me, and don't question when I do something strange.

For friends who I can talk serious matters with, and then go complete 180 in a matter of seconds.

For friends who have been around for years.

For a really nice roof over my head, yummy food on the table and good clothes to wear.

For being able to meet good people who make the world keep going

For being able to keep studying what I want to study

For all the books I own, and all that I get to read.

For all the unnecessary things in life that I do own that satisfies the materialistic parts of me

For the hugs, kisses and steamrolls.

For the messages that simply say "pew"

For getting Internetz

For people who love me.

Top of my head. This list could go on forever.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

Sing me a song that I can feel somehow

2011-11-24T23:26:00.004+08:00

Musings from the past week, or rather just Tuesday

Sometimes failure is needed to remind one's self that one is not invincible. Obviously a greatly exaggerated concept on my part, but it was a good wake up call. Humility. It's good.

More than fluff conversations can occur anywhere, regardless of location or situation. Doesn't matter if it's the bus, the station or just a mamak. Topics can encompass anything and everything, and can jump wildly from one end to the next.

The people around you are always going to be aware of the changes that occur within you, even when you yourself don't realise this. This comes along quite fairly with the fact we've been learning social comparison lately. This is why we need to make benchmarks out of people. Half the time, we're pretty oblivious to the happenings outside of our own little bubble known as 'self'.

Recurring topics of dynamics, roles and contributions. And then the analysis of how much each person has changed in such a short span of time. For good? For bad? Only time will tell.

Spending 2hours and 20 minutes trying to get your ass home can definitely put a dent in your spirit. But in the end, it's best to keep your spirits up and have a smile on your face. If only that wasn't so difficult sometimes.

What's not cool? Losing the birthday present your friend gives you in a span of an hour. God, I'm really stupid sometimes.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

Zee Avi Homecoming Tour KL 2011

2011-11-18T14:56:00.003+08:00

Once is never enough when it comes to music. And so I found myself back in KL Live to catch Zee Avi play for the second time with PJ, John, PJ's sister & friend. Despite the fact there was a delay of almost an hour, the crowd was pretty patient about it. We were first in line thanks to some skillful maneuvering, so my spot for the set was pretty darn fantastic. I was pretty far back the last time, so it was nice to be right in the first row this time.

The opening act was Narmi, the drummer from One Buck Short. Although I had no clue who he was before he took the stage, I was pretty blown away by how good he was. It was one of those moments where it was all about the music. Talking in between songs wasn't even necessary. He had a really gorgeous, dreamy voice which was so fitting for the occasion. New fan right here!

Zee eventually took the stage to the cheers of the audience and broke out into Milestone Moon. The rest of her set was her showcasing songs off Ghostbird, although she did pop in a few throwbacks from the first album as well. I was pretty pleased to hear all the ones I wanted to hear, with the exception of Anchor. She was backed by a 3 piece band again; a guitarist, a cellist/double bassist and a percussionist. There was wonderful rapport between the band which made it so lovely to watch them play together so happily.

One of the most outstanding songs of the night was when she played a "cover" of her own song, Concrete Wall. I was never really a fan of the song, but I was converted with the more acoustic version that she played. She mixed it up by thumping on a drum/bass (?) that has a concrete wall plastered on it. It was such a goosebump inducing song because of the strong percussions and just the sheer emotion that you could feel everytime she hit the drum. Simply awe-inspiring. She even mixed in the chorus of Pumped Up Kicks during her performance of The Book of Morris Johnson which was pretty darn cool. Another surprise was her serenading a mandarin song to her mother who was in the audience.

After the show was over, we wanted to nick the cardboard cut out flamingos and owls that were placed on her stage and so we asked for them. John managed to get the flamingo, which was so adorable. I got myself the set list, but they wouldn't let me have the owl so instead I asked one of the crew members to get my set list signed for me which he did. Perfect memento to cap off a great night of music.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

Nineteen.

2011-11-17T13:29:00.002+08:00

Nineteen. And so, another birthday comes and goes.

Birthdays just aren’t such a big deal for me. I feel the same way on my birthday as I do the day before, and the day after. I guess the only thing that ever changes is that my credit tends to drop a lot more than usual.

But friends being friends, they never let you have your way and so I found myself at O’Briens for a birthday breakfast at the glorious hour of 8 am. The festivities continued after classes with us having lunch altogether again. It really wasn’t about the place we were at, or the food we were having but all about the people.

After lunch we all just hung out at the Main Block hallway, something I hadn’t done in quite a while. I made use of the time to skype with Samo, another thing I hadn’t done in quite a while. It was quite funny to be skyping while sitting in the middle of all the friends

If I had to be coerced and pressured into celebrating my birthday, it’s definitely with these people. These are the people who will announce to the world what day it is in an elevator and who will remove all the money from your wallet to prevent you from being able to pay for your own food. These are the people that have made this entire year such a good one.

The day didn’t end in uni as I got together with Sel, Jun, Mich & Phar for an impromptu dinner in Empire. I think everybody just really wanted to see how the place was after it reopened. It was just one of those good simple dinners where everyone gets to catch up and have a few laughs before dismissing. A fitting end to a long and eventful day.

I started the day with Uni friends, talked to a College friend in the afternoon and had dinner with Secondary & Primary friends before coming home to family. Complete day. Definitely one of the best birthdays I’ve had in eons.

In the midst of all these, there was enough time to just sit back and relax with Ade whether in an empty lecture theatre or a random spot in an LRT station. It was a good slow down from all the excitement for the day and time to just talk. It’s basically the same thing all over again. People > Place.

Nineteen. Bring it on.

How many people actually stop and take the time to think why we love the people we love? Being faced with that question really got me thinking about how we feel things without really trying to figure out why we do. As much as emotions are relatively involuntary and are just feelings that happen, there is always the cognitive aspect to it. I found that having to think of why you love someone really provides a lot more meaning to said love. It makes it just that little bit more concrete.

I am blessed. Sometimes I forget but today I was very much reminded so.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

Project Janda Baik 9

2011-11-14T13:23:00.000+08:00

Pleasantly Surprised. That’s a good way to sum up this entire weekend.

Project Janda Baik 9 finally materialized this weekend and it was basically one hell of a weekend. Even though it really wasn’t the longest weekend considering we only kicked off late Friday afternoon, it was more than enough time to be a substantial trip. Piling into 4 vehicles packed to the brim with people, bags, food supplies and charitable goods, we headed off into the mountains.

All 22 of us stayed in a hut on the organizer lady’s land, which was described to be a lot worse than it really was. Everybody basically just rolled out their sleeping bag in every available corner and made it as remotely comfortable as sleeping on the floor could be. But then again, I don’t really have much to complain about considering it well exceeded my expectation of shacking it up in the jungle. Everyone having to be in such close proximity with each other was a great chance for bonding sessions and late night conversations. 22 very different people ARE capable of surviving in a confined space.

Day 1 was basically just spent setting up and getting ready for the next few days. Day 2’s plan was to visit the orang asli settlement in Kampung Mangkuk, somewhere past Gohtong Jaya. Passing the cable car station, there was much talk about commandeering the vehicle to head to Genting for a cuppa and some cold weather. But the cold weather was aplenty nonetheless since it rained and the cold wind was blowing through the open windows. The rain hampered our plans for a bit until we relocated into a multipurpose hall in the settlement where we distributed clothes as well as interacted with them. Although shy, they eventually were attracted to come and interact with us. We basically played balloons and bubbles with the children before having lunch with them. After lunch we distributed food supplies to the individual families before taking our leave.

When we finally arrived at the orang asli settlement, it was also pleasantly surprising because there were brick houses and the place looked very civilized and normal. Of course that perception vanished when we got a chance to peek into the houses as we delivered the goods. For such modern housing, the houses were barely furnished and mostly dirty. Moreover just up the road from the cluster of brick houses were original wooden huts that some families still stayed in. The fact is, something went wrong with efforts to assimilate aborigines into modern society. Outwardly it seems like it went well, but changing the surroundings doesn’t change the person. Inside these are still people who are more comfortable and probably happier being left to live the way they’ve always lived; in the jungle.

After returning from the orang asli settlement, we played some Frisbee while waiting to get on the back of a pick up truck to go to a nearby river. I didn’t realize how much I missed playing Frisbee until we did play it. When we finally did find ourselves at the river, the weather basically made getting in the most shocking temperature change possible. As if the water wasn’t cold enough, the river bed was very rocky and slippery which made trying to withstand the current such a difficult affair. Nonetheless, we still waded around and had multiple water attacks on people before we all called it quits to avoid hypothermia. As if that wasn’t bad enough, we had to directly face the chilling winds that plagued us as we sat on the back of a very fast moving truck. /shudder. Literally.

Day 3 was for conducting workshops and station games for the orphans that lived opposite the organizer lady’s land. It was something we’d all be working on for a few weeks, so there was nervousness as we waited for them to arrive. I was assigned to the 16-18 years old group and although we did seem to have the more boring and serious type of activities, it did end up going really well. It was good knowing that as much as fun was being had, there was substantial things for them to learn through the activities. We touched on the subject of furthering educaton with the group and I was also pleasantly surprised to see how interested they were in knowing their options after school. Some of them were very set on joining the police force, or teaching, or doing architecture. It was a good reminder for me that people just naturally have big dreams, regardless of background.

After the workshops we conducted station games for the kids, which was as successful as the workshops itself. The 7 stations had all the bases covered with some stations messing around with water balloons, flour (mine!) and even having each person to squeeze half a lime into their mouth. Ah, good fun. The whole thing went a bit havoc-ish after all the games ended since the kids wanted to mess around with the water and flour. Basically there were very few people who were dry, and a lot of screaming and running away involved. So much mess. Good fun, but just a big mess.

The organizer lady spoke at length about how people do charity to convince themselves that they are good people as much as it is to help others. I guess in the spirit of honesty, I found this idea to make so much sense because it applied to me. Helping others is natural, but sometimes you get so caught up in life that you forget to or put it aside. And then every now and then you realize you haven’t been the person you should be and attempt to fix that by going all out. Regardless of the motivation, this whole charity trip was such a humbling experience. Being able to see firsthand how others who are less fortunate live really helps remind yourself how much you really do have in your life. Nothing like a good dose of gratitude.

Further than that, being out of the city for the weekend was also a reminder to me about how big the world really is. The diversity of all the different places in Malaysia alone is rather mindblowing. I love living in the city, but every now and then it’s good to be able to get away and smell the fresh air. There’s definitely no hate for waking up to the view of mist and mountains just a stone throw away!

But as much as this trip was about being able to give back to society, I felt like it gave me so much as well in the form of great times with both new and old friends. The whole group of facilitators and committee were just a diverse group of people from different backgrounds, but somehow or another everyone had really good chemistry. The fact that we could all get along so well made working together a breeze. Almost all non-working times were spent getting to know each other and basically just talking about everything under the sun. We pretty much spent all the nights huddled in our sleeping bag talking about life, love and everything in between. Night conversations never seem to make any sense but are always the most informative of the lot.

What made the whole experience so much better was the fact that I was surrounded by most of my close friends from university. With year one coming to an end, it was nice to be able to look back and see how far we’ve all come together since January. Sometimes I forget how we have such concentrated love for each other.

It really just was good times in the unlikeliest of places. When your expectations are minimal, everything becomes pretty darn fancy.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

Blue shadows stitched to my toes

2011-11-03T12:06:00.003+08:00

Out of the norm. That’s the best way to describe Tuesday night’s celebratory dinner in lieu of Wai Meng’s birthday. It was bound to be one hell of an endless night with great friends, even with our choppily put together plan. Come to think of it, those are always the best.

Honouring Meng’s request, we all got dressed up for dinner at Las Carretas (yay, Mexican food!). The lulz began with the all too coincidental fact that Adeline, Sofia and Ayesha were all wearing black dresses and I wasn’t. And so in the spirit of conformity, I ended up switching clothes just like Ayesha and Sof did.

Then there was the drive to the restaurant which ended up to be such a hazardous and stressful journey despite the fact that the place was a stone’s throw away from campus. Somehow or another, we missed about 3 turns and ended up making glorious circles in the rain and jam. In the midst of that, Alvin ended up in some freak moment with a truck as he tried to follow us. Oh lord, the perils of going for dinner. Turns out, Sita encountered some pretty dodgy driving experiences on her way too, so it was an all round affair.

Dinner itself was lovely even though it was punctuated by liberal amounts of sighing and apologies being uttered for the horror journey we undertook to get to the restaurant. We conducted some major trolling towards Meng’s present, with us giving him a gag gift of a SuperJunior CD and watching him flash his best fake smile of gratitude. The resulting reaction after the real CD was given was classic.

The next few hours after dinner will be appropriately summed up with the following meaningless words: Juice, Rain, Liberal amounts of compliments, Spots under streetlamps, Intersections, Dancing in the Moonlight and Domesticated Activities.

Experience. This is life at this age, doing things for the experience. Doing so for the sake of doing it, with barely any semblance of logic or reason other than for the laughter and the tears. To build experience.

And with that is the 3 am realization that it really isn't necessary for any additives to make a good time. Once in 6 months, sure. But I can live without the responsibility. Seriously, coke does the trick.

Good Friends. Good Food. Good Times.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

Regrets and mistakes, they are memories made

2011-10-27T09:12:00.002+08:00

Intimidation. Whose fault is it? The intimidator or the intimidated?

As part of my course requirement, I’ve been seeing a counsellour to retrieve results of my aptitude tests as well as for personal reasons if there are any. As much as I see how counselling can be beneficial to the counselled, it definitely is not an easy thing to do. A person can walk in there thinking they don’t have any issues, and then walk out with tissues in hand. Counselling isn’t about people telling you what to do. It’s a lot more like people making you decide for yourself. It can be irritating.

During one of my sessions, a matter came up which involved me discussing how I think some people are intimidated by me and I appear scary or mean to them. So after the session, I asked the people in Uni about whether they think I’m scary or mean. And without hesitation most of them answered that I wasn’t so much scary or mean, but more of intimidating. The fact that it was the answer of the majority was actually quite fascinating, given that these people were answering independently of one another.

So the question is, where does one fix the issue? Does the intimidator change, or is it the intimidated that needs to make the move?

All the other kids with the pumped up kicks

2011-10-27T09:09:00.001+08:00

I visited Lake Gardens for a photoshoot with some other students from the Psych Department. Not recalling the last time I was there, it was a nice change of scenery given that the place is simply gorgeous. Sometimes, living in the city you forget that there are places that are still green.

The photoshoot itself was a pretty interesting experience given that it was quite full fledged with people coming to do our makeup and hair as well. I felt so pampered just sitting there while someone else made me look pretty, and even helped me dab sweat when we were in the hot sun. As glamorous as the job of modelling sounds, having to smile continuously and pose in seemingly awkward positions was very tiring and time consuming. At least there was the shared experience of making small talk while having to stare at foreheads and imaginary points in the distance. Good times, good times.

Also, last Saturday I attended the Malaysian Psychology Conference which was held at the Uni of Nottingham Semenyih Campus. Coming from a uni in the middle of the city which has classes underground it compared to the Nottingham Campus like glass to a Solitaire Diamond. The location aside, it was such a fascinating experience to listen to people present research findings and techniques on a wide array of topics. From keynote speeches to short presentations from students, most of what was being said was so enlightening. It was so strange to be with so many people from the same field who all understood each other (at different levels, of course).

Along with the trip to Semenyih was the shocking approval from the mother for a sleepover at Ayesha’ place the night before. And so I joined Ade and Sof on Ayesha’ huge and wonderfully comfortable bed for a night of steamrolling and new extents for friendships. Those people are weird, but by golly I love them to death. There are friends, and then there are them.

Deepavali is a good festival. It’s a great occasion to eat Indian food all day, which is never a bad thing. Add in time spent with the Kakis and other old friends, and you have a great day. When else do you see everyone wearing pottu’s and running around screaming VANAKAM? That and two lunches. That’s how good Indian food is.

My motor mouth runs over you

2011-10-11T20:16:00.002+08:00

This is how I manage my workload. I work work work work for 3/4 hours straight... and then repeat. Except when I repeat, I replace work with watching television shows. Sometimes I don't understand how I get any work done, but miraculously I do. I must be blessed.

We finally returned the PJ house to the landlord, so I'm officially out of PJ for good. It's a rather tragic thing, really. I mean, PJ really is the best place to live. It's central. There's hawker food. There's plenty of public transportation. It's not THAT jam. And most of all, my homies are in PJ. That, and I can afford to wake up at 7.15 am and still make it for an 8 am class. Well... no more of that, obviously.

I think I need to start phasing out the term homie from my vocabulary. I'm getting too old for it.

In other news, I attended a networking session today with some industry partners and it was a splendid experience. The formal clothing and pretty serious/intelligent conversations made me feel like such an adult. Until I realized I had actually clapped my hands in joy in front of the keynote speaker when the elevator finally made it to the 20th floor. In my defence, I didn't know she was who she was.

The world is small.

How many times does it have to take for "the world is so small" moments to become just... moments?

Cheers. More later perhaps?

You don't have to feel safe to feel unafraid.

2011-10-05T14:46:00.002+08:00

Half empty.

In any occasion, well most of them at least, I am the pessimist. I am the one shooting people down. I am the one asking " What happens if we fail?" or "what makes you think this will work?"

I don't do risks. My uncertainty avoidance is pretty spectacular. I am mostly afraid of failure. I can fail of course, and I know it'll be a learning experience. But I still stay as far away from it as possible.

During the meeting yesterday, i found myself having to keep saying " Being the pessimist I am...." It was depressing. It was like the battle of optimism versus pessimism. And I know, that in a team there has to be this battle to keep balance and to keep everyone level headed. But how does one feel being the party pooper? The wet blanket?

I see the glass half empty.

I need to see it full. Just. Full.

One presentation, one report, two reflective journals, an informative speech and a mid term exam to sit for all within the span of 15 days. How did I get myself into this mess?

Cheers. More later perhaps?

Shooting a sky full of holes.

2011-09-30T21:34:00.002+08:00

Original plans to go to the zoo with Ade and Ayesha fell through, so we ended up rolling around on Ayesha's bed for a good 3 hours. That, and the mini dance party that occured.

Then Sofia came and we continued the rolling for a fair bit before heading to Midvalley for lunch. Breakfast pancakes for lunch. The awesome things in life.

I am happy where I am in life. I have good people whom I love, and who love me around me. I have comfortable arrangements. I am comfortable.

But what comes next?

Cheers. More later perhaps?

A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere

2011-09-29T21:22:00.002+08:00

Yet another week passes, and still the same old first world problem.

Except now, it's exacerbated by other first world problems like a shopping mall blowing up.... Yeah, well that happened.

Although people form neighbouring residential areas like ss15/17 heard the blast occur, I didn't hear a single thing even though I live a minute away. Looks like I really can sleep through anything. This may not be good for my safety, but it is amusing.

I know the entire mall is wrecked and all that, but the closing of the only road there is to my place is not one I enjoy. Seriously, I now have to drive against the flow of traffic to go home. I could die in a head on collision. Touch wood.

More random thoughts:

Resident's meetings are fiery affairs

Being stuck in a jam is a great opportunity to have breakfast. I now keep cornflakes in the car.

Legit lying-on-the-bed-staring-at-the-ceiling girl talks.

Being thankful, with those you are thankful for.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

It's a strange strange place, lying at the end of a star

2011-09-22T14:33:00.004+08:00

It's kind of strange not having the liberty to blog at the end of the day. I need internet. But mostly, it's just rather disillusioning to not be able to put down my thoughts, or note down the parts of my day that I want to remember. This hiatus has been such an empty blotch in my life story.

Moving on, here are some recaps of things I need to remember in a completely incoherent manner.

1. Psychology Challenge 2011 (17th Sept). It felt like I had come full circle from being a participant to now a volunteer. As much as work was involved, the day was pretty much spent meeting new people, and getting to know acquaintances better. The winner was pretty impressive and had really nice boots. Also, I met 2010's winner and we have a sneaking suspicion that going last for the speeches means you will win. We make terrible causation assumptions from correlations.

2. MPH Book Sale. Show up an hour and a half before closing time on the last day, and still leave with five books. It was like fighting against time to go through all the racks. Oh how I wonder how many books I missed out on cause I couldn't go through all the boxes.

3. Public Speaking Class. My first speech for this class was basically an introductory speech where we could speak about ourselves, a classmate, or an inanimate object. I ended up giving my speech about Ayesha, just cause I was too lazy to really do much preparation beforehand and she was interesting enough to ramble on about. Previously, I had emailed her a list of questions to answer, but instead I got back an entire email of her telling me she comes from another planet and how she invented tic tacs. Obviously, that email became the focus point of my entire speech.

At the same time, Ayesha spoke about how she sees her friends, namely Wai Meng, Ade and me. It was full of sentimentally mushy moments that class. She likened Wai Meng to a plastic bag for being malleable but always there, Ade as your favourite pair of pajamas for being comfortable and what you want to go home to, and me to... nasi lemak. Yep. That. But with all honesty, it was a truly heartfelt day where I really did feel like we loved each other for being who we were and for being there as friends. God, it was sappy.

4. Kay Jean's Farewell Dinner + Andy's 19th Birthday (15th Sept). Double celebration called for dinner at The Hill, which is a lovely place that will burn a hole through your pocket. It was nice to see everyone dressed up, but I wish there was more chance to converse and really catch up with one another. Nevertheless, it was a pleasant night from the many stairs it took to reach the place down to the first sips of alcohol for Mich and Andy.

5. Kay Jean leaves for the UK (21st Sept). I was in Shu May's car that left very much early to the point that we could take a slow drive and even stop at an R&R for food and recuperation. It was as if we were going on a road trip. But it was a tear-filled affair with waterworks happening when we said our final goodbyes. It's not like we're never seeing her again, but it was more of the symbolism of the first Kaki leaving to another country to study. Suwei compiled pictures together into an A3 printout that turned out absolutely lovely as a farewell present, plus a video as well.

6. SienDee and SinYein leave for the UK(19th Sept). I made the realization that with the two of them leaving, I was the last girl left from the college group of friends. I will forever be a babysitter. Faris ran through KLIA to make it just in time to see them through the departure gate. It was eventful, obviously.

7. University is great. Sofia's back, which means that the whole group of uni friends are reunited (as if we were apart for that long). It's been nothing but laughter, hugs and poking fun at each other these few days. Even classes are pretty fun.

Disillusioned, but happy.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

2011-09-17T22:41:00.001+08:00

Forced Hiatus.

There is no Internet connection.

First world problem, but my life is pretty much non-existent.

I need Internet a little bit too much.

Updates soon.

Cold wind blows at precise rates when I've got my ice skates on

2011-09-10T23:57:00.002+08:00

One week in 5 minutes worth of typing:

Semester 3 has started, and it's been good to be back in uni. I know, nerd and all that but I really do love learning and lectures and all that jazz. It's just something I know my way around. No all together unexpected surprises.

It's been good to be back amongst the Uni mates most importantly. Especially with the increased antisocial hermit-ness that I sunk into when I was working during the holidays, social interaction has been very pleasant. It took me a while to remember just how odd a bunch we are. Noisy too. God, will I ever be part of a group that ISN'T noisy?

Next, moving. It's finally here. Have pretty much spent the entire week just packing and sorting and more packing. Finally got around to slowly moving boxes to the new place, so most of the stuff is actually there now. Furniture tomorrow, and the rest is left for a slow transition. Moving is such an unnecessary stress. WHY DO I HOARD SO MUCH?

Seriously though. I want to keep everything. It's terrible.

The next two weeks are going to be a blur of unpacking, uni, dinners and airport visits. Have mercy.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

The great lakes know it best

2011-09-07T14:30:00.001+08:00

(Posted from the future)

Week 1 of class, over.

The timetable for the semester is a pretty fancy one, by all accounts. Only 3 days a week with 2 full days, but with plenty of time in between. For some reason, the classes don’t seem to be taking up much time.

The fact that it’s a 3 day week makes it pass like a wildfire. One minute it’s Monday, and the next it’s Wednesday.

It’s been good returning to classes and getting back into the swing of things. But most of all it’s been lovely to be back with the uni friends. I had forgotten just how much of a rowdy bunch we are together. Or how loud. Or disturbing.

One thing I forget to be extremely thankful for is the fact that I have amazing people in my life. The fact is that I wouldn’t be able to keep up the crazed, overly joyful demeanour if it wasn’t for the fact that most of the time that is how I truly feel, and the people around me are okay with that. That might just be what is the most important part of the relationships you hold. The fact that people can be okay with your crazy.

Moving has been an all consuming, stressful, never ending affair. I don’t know if it’s this much of a havoc for everyone, but by golly is it not a pleasant experience at all. From the get go it’s been just this arduous process of packing up a life and bringing it elsewhere. If only I could write about this like it’s fully in the past, but it’s not. Long way to go.

Subang really isn’t foreign land to me, but the jams here really do not suit my liking. Why I ever moved here is a question I’ll be asking for hours on end.

Family dynamics and the art of unnecessary stress.

Worrying about the future at 19? Not quite the usual way of life.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

Madness is a day that has yet to come

2011-09-03T23:27:00.002+08:00

After 6 weeks of working, I'm finally retired from working at CB.

It was a fun job, definitely. Although the pay left little to be excited over, I definitely learnt the meaning of intrinsic motivation. If work was a bore, the pay would not have been enough to tide me over. Thankfully, it turned out to be a great experience. One that I will surely miss of course.

No experience is well worth it unless there is something to learn from it, and this has been no exception.

1. True experience that age is no marker for maturity. Despite being a decade older, some people have the temper of a 6 year old with a more varied repertoire of curse words.

2. Adrenaline rush of being busy, and the ever glorious feeling of relief when a whole crowd of customers are served.

3. Simple things like manners are a lost art. That, and the appearance of it can make someone feel a whole lot better.

4. When in doubt, Ask. Ask. Ask.

5. The service industry is kind of like living out the imaginative play you once had when you were 8/9. Remember serving mum and dad? Now it's for real. And it's fun.

6. Making drinks can be oddly satisfying.

7. The never ending quest for perfect foam. And the satisfaction that arises when perfect foam is made when steaming milk.

8. The variation in humanity is simply remarkable.

9. The humdrum of routine is real.

10. If you make it fun, it becomes fun.

Well, that's done and over with. What's next?

Cheers. More later perhaps?

My mind is a madhouse I only share with you.

2011-08-31T23:31:00.002+08:00

I. Must. Keep. At. This. Blogging. Nonsense.

This was the past 7 days.

Work. Sleep. Internet. Pack. Eat. Rinse and repeat.

I took last week as a kind of recharging week cause I was starting to feel rather flustered and out of it so I chose to hibernate and be an antisocial hermit. It worked well.

The holidays are almost wrapping up after 6 weeks, and it's like I haven't had a holiday at all. There are still people left to meet. Shows left to watch. Sleep to sleep (awkward sentence). Well, no complaining.

At one point in the past week, I visited SA with Mich to collect some certs that are long overdue. We wandered around for a bit, and gossiped with the teachers. I miss that place. As much as it feels familiar, there's a foreign part to it nowadays. Too many new faces, and changes.

Met up with Junior Tater and Lydz for dinner today, and it was some much needed social contact. I always find the way I have such varying conversations with different groups of friends fascinating. I tend to forget this happens, but it always surfaces when it's in the midst of it.

The strange calm that comes with honesty.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

My love will pay the rent

2011-08-23T15:56:00.005+08:00

More musings from my nook at work :

I cannot even begin to fathom how we will manage to pack up an entire house. I can barely pack up my room. I hoard. Everything is just too darn sentimental to toss out.

The brother got himself appendicitis. I was amused.

People need to have more decency and consideration when it comes to sharing hospital rooms.

The following rant requires the use of illogical stereotypes. I am Chinese. I am allowed to be racist to my own race :

Chinese people are asses. The preoccupation with money leads to the thought that nothing else is important in the world. Like manners. Throwing a fit and refusing to buy anything just because there is a registration process to use the wifi is not cool. There is free wifi. Taking two minutes to fill up some details that you can obviously fake, isn't really that hard. Ass.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

the second hand unwinds

2011-08-20T13:46:00.003+08:00

Musings from my bucket chair by the corner of the store.

Little toddlers wandering behind the counter at their own adventurous spirit. Hot water and heavy machinery? A kid doesn't care. It must be nice to look at everything with such wonder.

Late night shifts followed by early morning shifts. Not a good combo.

Certified ass cracks who refuse to leave the premises despite the lights being turned off and chairs being stacked.

Seeing your nephew's face plastered on a bus when you're in an early morning daze and doing a triple take cause you don't know if you can trust your eyes.

Why do people drink hot drinks with straws?

cheers. More later perhaps?

Put it in the place you keep what you need.

2011-08-18T22:02:00.004+08:00

Monday

Ade came to visit me bearing food and happy gifts from Korea. We took a picture and whatsapp-ed it to Ayesha & Sofia who were in Rome at the time. In return, the sent back a picture of themselves. Technology. Aiding people to make each other jelly.

Wednesday

Spent a day being mature with Mich, beginning with changing our IC's to feature proper "adult" pictures. We expected spending the whole morning waiting in line and being bored due to past experiences with Government offices.... but we were sorely mistaken. The entire thing took a whopping 30 minutes. Yes, half an hour. So there we were done by 830 wondering what the heck we were going to do for the rest of the day. In the end we went for breakfast with Ross (who never seems to understand the concept of holidays and is perennially in HELP).

After breakfast we still had time to waste so we went to Pyramid where we ended up watching Zookeeper. Please don't watch it. It will make you want to kill yourself. Hollywood sure knows how to inflict a slow, painful death onto unsuspecting people. Once we survived the ordeal that is that movie, I took Mich to the Olives to see my mum and the place. That officially made her the first friend to see the new place ! She may or may not have been overly excited. Definitely the former.

Since mum had forgotten some stuff, she sent us on an errand run. How grown up of us. When we finally got back I took Mich around the place to have a look and we ended up sitting by the pool discussing future poolside moments in a pun-filled conversation. "Deep conversations, and sometimes shallow ones too".

I have come to the conclusion that people are generally really inattentive and enjoy asking stupid questions. In CB, to access the wifi you have to register some details and create your own username and password. It really isn't all that difficult. But day in and day out we get people asking us what the username and password is. Seriously, would it hurt to experiment by clicking the bright orange link that leads to the registration? Even better is when people don't have the intelligence to just scroll down the page, so they don't even see the link. Why. Oh. Why.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

Soft paper wings

2011-08-15T22:25:00.002+08:00

SOP : Standard Operating Procedure.

or

SOP : Sendiri Operating Procedure.

I think work is dangerous. I have 4 cuts (tiny ones) on my right hand alone.

Blinded by your own reflection

2011-08-14T22:53:00.002+08:00

Saturday night involved taking a trip to Sungai Buloh for Sien Dee's 19th birthday. Thankfully, her house is much easier to find compared to Yein's. Despite having a GPS in the car, Jag had no clue how to use it in the first place so it was pretty useless. We didn't get lost, so it was a success anyway. Spent the night eating too much food, playing Rockband and various card games to entertain ourselves.

Sometimes I forget just how different my groups of friends are from each other. Spending time with each group is always a wildly different experience from the other.

At work today it was like every person was trying to prove that they had a shorter fuse than the other. Literally everyone was trying to bite each other's head off and eventually people started shouting at each other. Sometimes you forget just how testy people can get, whether they are 13 or 30. Life is hard. It doesn't need to be any harder with everyone arguing with one another.

Dreams speak volumes.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

Disconnect the dots

2011-08-13T00:48:00.004+08:00

I definitely need to be more disciplined with my blogging. Pretty much an entire week has gone without me noting down what has been going on. Well tardiness leads to massive recaps. Tardiness has occurred. The recaps will commence... now :

Tuesday

After work I read in bed. It's been a long time since I've forfeited sleep for reading. I've forgotten just how engaging and consuming reading can be.

Wednesday

Watched Winter's Bone with PJ after work. It was showing under the "International Films" cause it's not mainstream enough to be considered a normal movie. So we walked in and the entire place was pitch black cause apparently people in GSC are incapable of finding the light switch. I was pretty sure I had stepped right into a slasher movie. The movie itself was pretty cool. As expected, its strength was the storyline which showcased a really bleak setting for the whole movie. Since it had no dramatic fight scenes or things blowing up, and was mostly people talking to each other, people got bored. A grand total of 9 people got up and left before the movie even reached its midpoint. I was amused. Also to remember : Nip in the Butt. Heh.

After that I headed to Jaya One for Phar's surprise party at Cafe Chulos. The turnout was pretty good with a good mix of her friends from different places. The problem with that was everyone pretty much stuck to the people they knew, but I love the Kakis so that was no problem. Phar got drunk from being forced to down a cocktail and she ended up crawling under tables and singing the school song (it's the hip new thing). The venue had a lovely couch area with a see-through, so the Kakis took over and we spent the rest of the night just lounging around. It was one of those nights where I had a content moment. When I'm completely in the present and truly happy

Friday

Shern popped by to say hi and to have a chat at work. She left, and five seconds later Mich walked in. After work the two of us headed to Midvalley for Eve's surprise dinner at Nando's. Thinking we were late since we were stuck in the jam for quite a bit, we turned out to be earliest. Apparently punctuality is avoided like the plague. Eitherway, the surprise worked cause Eve had no clue. Dinner was spent talking to the different pockets of people who were in attendance. I actually spent quite a bit of time catching up with friends from SA, and making new ones. Supper was had in 223 cause we didn't manage to make that trip happen on Wednesday night. I love the culture shock that is always evident on people's faces when they walk into that place.

The past month or so has been very Kaki-centric since everyone has been simultaneously free. Combined with the fact that there were a number of birthdays, we've all met up with one another in a rather concentrated fashion compared to our half year hiatus. So the night was fun because I got to chat with other people and get to know new things. I love the Kaki's, but varying conversations are very enticing.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

Rockshow Romeo

2011-08-06T20:45:00.002+08:00

I finished training with CBTL for drinks, and officially got my uniform. I feel accomplished. I've forgotten how fun learning new things can be. Okay, that couldn't make me sound any less nerdy could it?

Over the past few days I've pretty much have been hibernating the minute I get home from work. After 8 hours of coffee, all I want to do is sit in front of my computer and melt on the internet. Couple of hours later, it's time for bed and when a new day begins it's rinse and repeat.

I miss going for classes. And the people I spend my time with.

Friday was probably the only eventful day of the week for me. I'm becoming a boring working person. I spent the morning sleeping in for the first time in over a week (oh the horror), except there was breakfast and Bones in the middle. More bones followed in the afternoon, followed by a trip to the SS18 Ramadhan Bazaar. Ah, the joys in life.

Friday night's dinner plans were in conjunction with Xin's 19th birthday and we revisited the tai chow dinner plans of the past. We ordered 4 plates of meat. How carnivorous of us. It was lovely to see everyone together again. Undoubtedly the tai chow dinner plans are ingenious because of the round table where everyone can talk to each other with ease. If only they had chosen a place with better parking.

After dinner we headed to Selene's house where we put 11 girls on her bed and camwhored. Yep, sounds about normal. Despite the fact that we could all be extremely comfortable in her living room, we only went out there when everyone was about to leave. Sometimes I don't understand the things we do. Highlight of the night was probably the spontaneous singing of the Sri Aman school song + Hearts & Mind in the dark. We.. er.. miss school? I found myself struggling to remember some lyrics at parts. It's been that long since I've attended an assembly!

Need. To. Bum.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

Sing the melodies of you

2011-08-01T21:51:00.003+08:00

Today I felt like group work in Uni which usually is my number one stressor is actually not that bad.

I was involved with a group discussion with several other males of the same age group as I was and the entire process was like we were animals of different species trying to communicate with each in other in a variety of catcalls and grunts. The fact was, they could barely speak a word of English, and I couldn't catch up with their speedy spoken Malay.

The fact is, the training session today was meant to be held in English. And that couldn't even go through because there was such a gigantic language barrier in place. I mean, I've seen people speak haltering english combined with a smattering of Malay and thought it was bad. Today I saw the worst.

I am not trying to be condescending or egoistical that I can speak English. Nor am I trying to say that English is the most superior language on the planet, but it is so widely spoken. It's pretty much the lingua franca of the world. Time and time again you hear people in the working world say how important it is to know English to be able to hold a proper career. But this advice seems to fall on deaf ears.

I understand the fact that being proficient in two languages is tough. I myself am weak in BM but I can speak enough to save myself. I can carry a conversation, although disjointed at times. What I'm trying to say is that more effort needs to be taken to try and incorporate more english into daily dialogue as a way of practising. At least when the need arises, there's some small background to fall back on. It doesn't matter if it's fluent. It just has to be mildly coherent.

This whole incident led to me to really see how much of a failure the Malaysian Education system is. If an education system cannot prepare students with the skills needed to survive independently in a working environment, then it has obviously failed. At first there was hope when Science and Maths were to be taught in English. And I did notice that it helped people in my school, and schools around the area. I cannot speak for how it has helped in rural schools but I believe that if it can help some, it has already done a good job. But then they turned their back on that and took it away. So much for progress.

Why make history a compulsory subject and not English? The standard of marking English examinations itself has fallen drastically. It surely must say something for students who can't even pass the exams, no?

Sigh.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

If karma would dance, she's tango forever

2011-07-31T01:17:00.005+08:00

What? Almost a whole week without me blogging? This cannot be ! Heck, this blog even took a few separate sessions to complete !

I've been busy with work, but my hours for the week have been pretty good cause I get to sleep in a fair bit and still have my nights free. Work's been fun and I have been enjoying learning how to make all the different drinks. There's a whole bunch to remember cause each drink has a different SOP, but it's only been like 4 days of work so I've done well enough. I've also come to learn that people are really addicted to coffee. People come in for shots of espresso more than once a day!

Wednesday

Lunch with Sel, Phar, Jo and Jean. Jumping from place to place for lunch. This was followed by Post-dinner sock shopping with the Junior Tater. It's been way too long since I've seen her, and it just reminded me of how much I've missed having her around. It was barely enough time to even catch up with one another.

Thursday

Dinner and Captain America with PJ. The movie was better than expected. It ended up to be quite entertaining. Although it was strange cause I kept seeing scenes that resembled those from other movies. We literally chose the worst seats possible cause we sat right in front of this family of three that would guffaw at every little thing. Even when it wasn't even remotely amusing, they'd be laughing. Don't even get me started on when there was actual humour involved. I love skipping through empty malls. No doubt about that.

Friday

A friendly surprise bearing my favourite focaccia bread. I approve wholeheartedly. Although the reciprocation was unable to be made since I had to stay home the night. As much as I love going out, staying home on Friday night watching Bones and trolling the internet. Such a homebody. I approve.

Saturday
Sleeping in is under appreciated. Headed to Hsu Yi's house for her 19th Birthday hangout decked in my pajamas and smelly pillow. Whoever thought of the pajama theme was genius. Best part was that I got to go home and jump straight into bed. This should be the theme for every non-public Kaki's gathering. We played a few rounds of Heart Attack. That game is mucho brilliant, whether played when you are 9 or 19.

Sunday

Work.

Note for the week : The early part of the week was unsettling for me. To be faced with the seriousness of a situation that I am involved in was not expected. The worst part was not being able to fix things the way I want them to for constraints of people's absences as well as a just general busy month. Hopefully I can put my mediation skills to use soon.

It's a blow up that's been absent for far too long.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

2011-07-25T21:56:00.003+08:00

More packing, more throwing out stuff. Flipping through books from my childhood that were pretty much the source of my intelligence and love for reading. Disney encyclopedias. How much better can it get?

Started working at Coffee Bean today. Making drinks is actually kind of fun. I mean, when there are a whole lot of people and I need to make like a few at the time it isn't so fun anymore, but other than that it's fun. I complain about washing dishes at home. I now wash them for a good part of 8 hours. And then you throw in unexpected people like PJ showing up. Sneaky person.

Unexpected call over the weekend from someone I never thought I'd get a call from. Times have changed.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

The classic dance between the fringe and the fray

2011-07-22T22:38:00.003+08:00

I've been cleaning. and packing. and throwing stuff out. I feel productive. Sometimes.

Wednesday night was spent driving from point A to point B to point C and then round and round Puchong in search of food. Supper, Durian, and friends.

Thursday night involved dinner in honour of Shu May's birthday. Food at The Apartment was very satisfying, but burned a hole right through my pocket. It was nice to have a small dinner where everyone could talk to each other without having to shout over the table. Over dessert, we reminisced about high school and got all nostalgic and stuff.

Those five years in SA sure are hard to beat.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

The sweetest dream will never do

2011-07-19T23:59:00.004+08:00

The present is not without the past, but the past is without the present.

I've embarked on the mission of tagging most of my current standing 800 posts published on this blog for organizational reasons. Sometimes I quite enjoy organizing stuff. Sometimes.

But I digress, the point I was trying to make is that reading through my old posts has brought back a lot of memories. Both good, and bad. Nostalgia, it's a fascinating thing.

It's funny because as I skim through the first hundred posts on my blog, the current me is trying to figure out the person I was back in 2008. From the way I wrote, to the things that fascinated me, the changes are undeniable. There's the similarities, yes, but at the same time there are the glaring differences of the person I am, and the person I was. I cannot even begin to fathom how these changes came to be, or how those similarities remained, but they did. Change is the only constant in life they say, and this I do not deny.

Which leads to me being glad that I've kept this blog well and alive since I started off in 2008. I know of many blogs that popped up during the whole blogging phase, and then subsequently fallen into the dusty realm that is abandonment. This blog is not one of them. This blog has successively kept track of every important bit of the past 3 years of so, and it's there in black and white. Well, orange and white actually. As this present becomes the past, I will soon enough look back once again and wonder why I wrote what I am writing now. This blog has helped me keep track of that change. Helped me watch as I progressed (or regressed, depends on who's perception) through the years.

Good ole blog. I approve.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

words don't sink, they swim

2011-07-19T23:12:00.003+08:00

Holidays are for sleeping, bumming and hanging out with people. Check. Check. and Check.

I spent the day with Mich and Daph. I picked Mich up and she didn't speak to me for about five minutes cause it was too early for her, but then all of a sudden it was 9 o clock and she became all awake and wouldn't shut up. Yep. Got to Daph's and we rolled around in bed falling in and out of sleep, combined with some very weird chatter going on Mich's and my part. Poor daph didn't even know what hit her.

We proceeded to make Pancakes and Caramelized Apples for brunch. How domesticated of us. After a variety of pancake shapes, we covered out pancakes with 7 different condiments from peanut butter to lemon curd. Then we talked like our life depended on it. Moments like this, I cherish. As part of our conversation, we found out that Daph doesn't blow her nose. The following 15 minutes went like this :

" DUUUUUUDDEEEEE. WHAAAAAT? "
" BUT HOW. WHY. WHY IS THIS SO?"
" You are so. weird. "

Rinse, and repeat.

I took the two of them to the Kebun to see the new puppies who have made the Kebun their new home since it's a maternity hospital for stray animals apparently. City kids are easy to tell. They see brinjals growing on a real plant and it's the most fascinating thing ever. And then you add a fat rooster crowing in the background and it acts as a good field trip. It was amusing. The fat puppy on the other hand, was even more amusing. God, little animals are like marshmallows on a stick. Irresistible.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

I don't want to hear you cry no more, step inside the door door

2011-07-17T22:20:00.005+08:00

Finally done with light shopping. So so thankful I no longer have to stare upwards at lights trying to imagine it in a room. Next step, packing?

Sin Yein had a BBQ Party for her birthday, so we found our way to Serdang again since February. It has been a while since we all got together, and it was a nice reminder of the times we had in the halls of HELP. I forgot how crazy those friends are. Spent the night pretty much just eating and laughing and then eating again. There was so much good food. I just ate like a whole bunch of barbequed sting ray and every bite I exclaimed how good it was. Never got sick of it.

I love patches of grass, so I had the great idea of sitting on the grass while we ate round 2. The minute we planted our butts on the grass, everyone started shouting cause the grass was so pokey and it was stabbing out butt. But I still liked the grass, so we stayed there anyway.

Things I want to remember :

1. Aaron getting rejected by Yein's sister.

2. Trying to secretly write notes to Sin Yein without her knowing and subsequently panicking every time she approached.

3. Yein walking in to find all of us lying on the floor in her room cause it was already 1 and everyone was tired.

"So many imagination" - Ivan Lim

Cheers. More later perhaps?

Look for the rainbow in every storm

2011-07-15T21:35:00.003+08:00

And... that marks the official end of Semester two. One more and the year is as good as over. 2/3 of first year survived is a good milestone by my counts. What comes next is a well accepted month and a half break before the third semester commences.

Today's LLS exam was mighty full of LULZ. And by this I actually mean I wrote "LULZ" at the side of some of the questions. I love University and how strange exams can be here. I mean, who asks questions like " In the slides, which leader is standing next to the mosquito? " Mind you, nobody can actually remember who it is. But my favourite was the fact that there was a question about Dr. Sheldon Cooper and which trait he lacks. Apparently watching BBT in class had some sort of purpose. This is the second time one of my TV shows has indirectly helped me answer an exam question. I approve.

Damn it, I have to go find a part time job.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

Mischief Managed

2011-07-14T00:44:00.002+08:00

I love Harry Potter. There is no doubt about that. Everyone has a book that accompanies their growing up process, and Harry Potter was mine. But as a reader, the movies have always made me sad. Books should never be movies. Sure, movies bring imagination to life, but all the details get left out.

Part 1 of DH was very appealing to me because it followed the story line well. There wasn't much left out and it really let the characters develop and explain everything. Part 1 was the build up, and it did well. As a result, I had high hopes for Part 2. Obviously as hinted by the tone of this post, I was disappointed.

I mean, overall, Yates did a good job with setting the tone for the movie, all dark and gloomy. The cast did a splendid job as they always do, the saving grace of a disappointing movie series. I couldn't help but smile at the stand out scenes and repeating words as they were being said. I'll definitely miss these people playing those roles (well most).

I'm not going to complain about what went wrong because that's just time consuming and I will probably get all worked up again. I will say however, that I wish the rest of the cast were given more screen time because the books are made from the sheer genius combination of a great number of people. Not just Harry Potter. And damn it, Voldy doesn't hug. Ish.

Note to remember : watching it with potter geeks who come dressed up in cloaks and hats and glasses. That, and clapping when Neville becomes a BAMF. I approve.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

We are broken, We are bitter

2011-07-11T21:27:00.002+08:00

Bersih 2.0 came and went in all its glory, and the post-rally breakdown has swung into high gear. I don't think I've spent so much time monitoring the news since the 08 General Elections, and other sporadic news filled moments. Even so, those times pale in comparison to the discipline that I devour the news portals nowadays.

In the heat of the moment on 9th July, I wrote a fervent post on Tumblr detailing my pride and respect for everyone of the men and women who took the call of bravery and headed to the streets in support of the cause. I basically felt the need to remember that moment. To remember how each person found their way into the capital despite the lockdown of the city and the way they stood up for what's right. At the same time, I expressed my wishes that I had gone for the rally with the old man. Without parental restrictions, I would have been proud to stand among the crowd running from tear gas and water cannons. Bersih 3.0 perhaps? But here's to hoping that does not have to occur of course.

Now in the aftermath of the rally when all the stories are flooding in, reports being made, responses being given, I feel the need to put down the array of thoughts running through my head. Particularly, I am reeling from watching this video. Essentially the video debunks everything the government has been saying about the rally, and ends with footage of what really happened with the one man who lost his life during the rally. It was painful to watch a man approaching his death. I do not deny that. But I think it's imperative for each and every person who calls Malaysia home to watch it because it carries the strongest possible emotional slap you'll ever get from this whole hooha. All that talk about police brutality, and them launching unprovoked tear gas and water cannon attacks on the crowds do not measure up to watching them do nothing while a man is sprawled on the ground. There is doing wrong, and then there is doing nothing.

To be honest, I expect the whole PR nonsense to spout out of the government about the rally and all that, but I didn't expect it to escalate to this level. I expected brushing over stuff, and downplay the truth, but not complete and utter denial of the situation. In response to all the reports about police brutality, and unprovoked attacks, and them shooting tear gas into the compound of hospitals, it has just been a slew of denial, and really really stupid answers. I mean, "the wind must have blown the tear gas". O RLY? What about the canisters then? The birds came, picked it up and dropped it in the compound? You would think that people who ran the country would have more intelligence in coming up with excuses.

The fact is, it's playing out well. More than ever, the public gets to see the way the government handles threats and attempts to subtly turn the entire thing around and make it seem like a violent protest. The measure of a person, or an organization is the way one react in the face of adversity. And the ugly head of the government is being reared as this is being written.

I have so much hope that this is what it takes to finally get people to stand up, vote, and be counted. It's admirable to see the numbers of people who seem to be supporting this stand, but in reality, a fair number are just jumping onto the popularity bandwagon. It's the same way a number of people who went for the rally may have merely wanted to join in the ruckus. But the fact is, it's continued support that this country needs. Not just a momentary belief in change, and reform and what not. Momentary is better than nothing of course, but here's to hoping for prolonged support from the masses.

My thought process has derailed. Abrupt end.... now.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

Hey, Show some love

2011-07-09T01:14:00.002+08:00

Google Preferences, you definitely got it wrong there.

I will try and fix you.

2011-07-07T23:33:00.002+08:00

Instead of studying like I was suppose to, I took a trip to Bangsar to have lunch with Samo, Sdee, Yein and Jaggeh. It was great to be reunited with the college mates, with the exception of Aaron. Basically a remake of the things we did in HMC. Poke fun at each other, laugh at absolutely nothing ad play Heads Will Roll. After that, I followed Samo home for absolutely no reason except to stalk people's blogs, scream at each other and watch BBT. Yep, the usual.

I spent some time reading in Borders before all this happened, and I was reminded how much time I had spent in Borders a couple of years ago. Being able to sit down in those black comfy chairs and read with no distractions was much welcomed. I need to make a conscious effort to do that more often.

This whole drama over the Bersih 2.0 Rally deserves a mention today because it is undoubtedly out of hand. It is hard to understand the way the government is dealing with this situation that began seemingly harmless and for a good cause. It simply appalls me that the powers that be have lost all sense of reason, logic and intelligence over this matter. There is simply no other explanation for it. It is sheer madness the way that this issue is being pushed around. It saddens me to see the people who run this country be so archaic when dealing with a simple matter of a fight for human rights. I strongly pray for the safety of all those fighting for a free election, and essentially a free country.

The measure of a person is their attitude and actions in times of peril and trouble. We see the measures of the people of this country now.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

Make like a tree, and leave

2011-07-06T12:50:00.002+08:00

Good times are had when you watch a terrible chick flick starring Selena Gomez with some of your favourite people from Uni. The movie itself made me want to just roll over and die as expected, but having Sofia on one side melting in a puddle of cheesiness and Ayesha on the other side doing happy dances everytime they played a Mika song made everything better.

From running around Midvalley, to putting skinny jeans on Wai Meng and the awkward presence of awkward people, days like this don't get any better. How can you have Monday blues this way?

A moment I need to remember is when that one guy in the cinema starting howling with laughter when the actress said "Warm Nuts". Ah, people and their dirty dirty minds.

Harry Potter tickets have been purchased, and good times are going to be upon us.

Now, about those exams......

Cheers. More later perhaps?

In deep blue seas of paper mache

2011-07-03T12:03:00.003+08:00

I started off the second half of the year with hopes for a good one, but reservations from the past.

I spent the day with Samo, Aaron and Jag, the original college foursome since the fourth person returned from Sydney for a break. Samo came bearing gifts, so I have a lovely zombie notebook in my possession right now. And dark chocolate Reese's cups which I have yet to try yet.

Our plan was to go to Pyramid to ice skate, but as luck is never on our side when it comes to plans, the rink was closed off due to a competition being held there. Yep, lovely timing. And since Jag had seen every possible movie there was, we ended up in the arcade. Me and Sam decided that we would fund our best friend's if they played DDR against each other, and they did. As expected, much laughter ensued, especially when Aaron failed like 30 seconds after he started.

After making our rounds, we ended up in Starbucks where we discovered the baristas don't read expiration dates on vouchers, and have weird interpretations of clauses on vouchers. We decided to play a memory game to waste time, which we did eventually. I do not approve of using my brain when I'm suppose to be chilling out. But the game went on, and it was pretty darn frustrating to say the least.

The next day involved copious amounts of peer pressure that resulted in my going to Xin's place to watch horror movies with the rest of the friends. Thankfully, they decided to watch The Shining over Shutter, which was good for me cause I got to avoid Shutter by leaving early. The Shining started off creepy, but wasn't quite so scary after everyone started laughing about the actress who had a serious face problem and just couldn't act to save her life. When there are a number of people who are serious chickens, a lot of talking goes on during horror movies to distract ourselves. I myself just focused on the Facebook on my phone. Thank god for modern technology.

Before the whole horror movie shebang, Mich & Eve were ladling out riddles for us to answer over dinner. They began this riddle type thing that went like " In my world, there are puddles but no rain, chess but no checkers, feet but no legs" and so on. Me and Daph couldn't figure it out and were cracking out brains so hard the whole time. As a result, when we were driving up to Xin's place, we took a wrong turning and were convinced we were going to die since Xin lives us a creepy ass hill. When we finally got to Xin's we told it to the group and we were all trying to figure it out. Eventually one by one everyone got it, although I took a painfully long time to do it. Almost 3 hours, I think. Stupid riddles.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

It's quiet in the streets now, but it's screaming in your head

2011-06-30T22:12:00.005+08:00

This marks 800 posts on meleeo.blogspot.com. A fair share of those posts are just meaningless words and pictures, and probably shouldn't even count as a post. But the majority of what I write here carries some sort of semblance of organized writing and is made up of my musings and fascinations. 800 posts is quite a fair number, and I'm glad to still be keeping it up. Only 200 more to a thousand !

I refrained from blogging yesterday to keep the 800th post for a good day with lots to talk about, i.e. today, as I was due to have dinner with O_O after an extended absence from them. It was suppose to be the night of nights. My closest friends, the same table at the same restaurant as always, and lots of laughter to cap off the end of my Semester. A celebration. A relief. And so it was, for the time it lasted. All the ache in the sides laughter, stupid conversations and stupid faces, it was all there. It was good.

And then ... that happened.

It takes a lot to break a person. It takes a lot to break me. I was broken. I am broken.

In the spirit of being vague and cryptic, the chain of events that took place tonight were deeply unsettling. They were enough to reduce me into tears. They were enough to break the facade I keep. It was hard to deal with. It was hard to keep a poker face and pretended like it didn't matter. It was hard, because it did matter. It said so much for what she stands for. It said so much for the relationship we have. It was case in point for the fact that things never change. That people never change, even thought everything around them changes.

It was tough. Watching my two lives meet. Watching one part of me meet another. And the fact is, I couldn't deal with it. The sheer stress that the situation placed me in brought me to pieces. It's been a while since this has happened. I've formed my shell, and sometimes, it crumbles. Today, it crumbled outside of my comfort zone, outside of the confines of my own safe house.

Today was bad.

Like all plans, it changes. My 800th was meant to be momentous, and was meant to mark a good day. Instead, it has marked a bad day as well.

This is how the first half of the year ends. Fitting.

I'm leaving this, where it belongs.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

I get by with a little help from my friends

2011-06-28T22:27:00.002+08:00

It's one of those days where I have a lot going through my mind, which translates into long words and monologue conversations in British accent. These days seem to occur when my mood is in the polar regions. Either depressingly down, or freakishly high. Today, it's the latter.

The semester is pretty as much as good and over since 2/3 of my subjects have finished syllabus ahead of time and cancelled the last classes. If it wasn't for Anthro, I'd be as good as be on holiday now.... well until finals at least. Now I just have to write that paper. 6 pages. That's all Millie. You know you only need to put a half the effort into it for 2 days and it'll be done. K, good girl.

It took me a good ten minutes to explain to Ayesha how it's the end of the semester and everyone is essentially not going to be in the same class as each other for another 2 months. Exams don't count. She was completely lost and couldn't grasp the fact given the sheer speed of these two months. It seems like so much has gone on, but in such a short span of time. Short semesters are like doing 4 months worth of things in 2 months time. It was pretty funny because the more I explained it to her, the more it hit me that the semester is over. I mean, I'm happy cause holidays are pretty damn awesome, but it was a bit hard to let go because this semester has been nothing short of super. The prolonged hours in Uni have led everyone to spend so much more time together that everyone knows each other so much more and it's hard to suddenly take that away.

Which brings me to the next point. Me, Ayesha and Adelene pretty much just frantically discussed our entire high school life in the matter of two hours, which made me reminisce on the time spent in SA. I've grown so attached to it in such a nostalgic fashion that when I speak of those five years, I speak with such gusto. We were comparing differences between our schools and our experiences, and I was so thankful for the ones I had. My high school life was hard to beat. Ade was saying how Uni has been the most fun for her, and I had trouble deciding. I have enjoyed Uni tremendously but it hardly has reached the level of high school. It's like how Foundation was cool, but it only started being fun from the second semester onwards which hardly measures up to Uni or High School. I have a feeling that Uni is going to be an amazing time for me, just due to the fact I've managed to find my place within my cohort and be so comfortable with these newly made friends. But just at this point, right now, it's not quite there.

Nonetheless, I've been blessed. Blessed for meeting great people throughout every educational institute I've been. It's beyond denying that the people around you make the experience work, and it has for me. I would hardly be so content and happy with where I am if it wasn't for the fact that the friends I've made keep me going day by day.

It's been a good start to the week, and I see it getting better. Samo's returning, so college friends reunions are upon us. O_O has a dinner scheduled. Kaki's have more activities to run. And Uni friends are already planning last days out before everyone (well some) flies off to foreign lands for extended holidays. God, how am I going to fit this in?

Cheers. More later perhaps?

How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?

2011-06-25T22:35:00.003+08:00

Friday morning : Breakfast with Jun, Daph and Mich.

Sometimes, waking up (more like waking others up) at ungodly hours can be fun. Finding a really sleepy Jun at her doorstep waiting for me was hilarious. I got to meet her chinchilla, Atticus, which is the most adorable creature ever. I expected it to be much smaller, but apparently not. It really is painfully cute, especially when it ate the raisins I fed. Breakfast itself was the usual don't stop talking for three hours affair. After breakfast, we were all stuck in the jam getting out of SS15, and so happened Daph's car was right next to me. So what's the most logical thing we can do? Wind down our windows and have a nice chat. Heck, I even had a show and tell of a CD poster for her. Anyone walking by would've thought we were nuts.

Friday Evening : Sound of Music the production.

Other than reminding myself how much I can't stand the traffic in KL, it was an uneventful trip to the city. As time passed, I got increasingly excited for the show to begin. Thankfully, our seats weren't too bad, as they had a good view of the stage and was in the center. I'll leave the facial expressions to my imagination. The show itself was satisfactory, although I wished for more. It wasn't as breathtaking as Phantom, or Mamma Mia, but it was enough to whet my appetite. It has been a dream to watch a live production of my favourite childhood musical. Which would probably explain why I couldn't pass on this opportunity despite the exorbitant price of the tickets.

Being able to hear all these songs from my childhood played live was simply exhilarating. There was intense happiness going on within me. The play itself was as dreadfully long as the movie was, stretching well past the usual 2 hour show. There was some unexpected plot changes, and additional songs to fill the time. Sometimes it's hard to remember that a movie cannot be recreated into a production, which can leave for some befuddled moments when things change. Phantom really has spoiled me.

The lady who played Maria was very much as spirited as she should have been, and had a lovely voice. At certain times, she really did sound very much like Julie Andrews. I was left slightly disappointed at the casting of Captain of Von Trapp. He was a little bit too nice and unrestricted to my liking. I guess nobody can really match up the superior acting of Christopher Plummer.

I like the fact that as I grow older, The Sound of Music isn't just a show I watched when I was young that had really fancy and catchy music. It's become a reminder of those carefree times, and how times can still be carefree. But most importantly, I've learnt to appreciate the songs for what they are. Sheer motivation in a song. Each lyric, so beautifully crafted, carries so much meaning. It's life lessons, in one CD.

Best moment of the show? Other than all the awesome singing scenes aside, it must've been when Maria and Capt. Von Trapp finally kissed and suddenly you hear this subdued "eeeeewww" coming from the main floor. That kid must've been pretty damn loud that I could hear it in the upper balcony. Either that, or the acoustics in the theater were phenomenal. Seriously, moments like that are priceless. It must've been so awkward to the actors if they hadn't hear the eew, to suddenly hear the entire audience in laughter.

I love that moment when the curtains pull apart and you get that first glimpse of the stage, and the backdrop. Just seconds before, you just can't even begin to imagine how the stage will be organized and what structures will be in place. It captures the moment of watching a live production.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

All we need is a little bit of inertia

2011-06-23T12:00:00.004+08:00

It's Thursday, which means there's only one last week of uni left for this semester until the study break begins. And we all know that study break is essentially a preholiday to the holiday! I'm already slowly lacking serious motivation. All I can think about is reading, and watching more and more shows.

The week hasn't really been as hectic as I expected it to be, but that's alright. I'm not complaining. One assignment is done and over with, with two more to complete. There's that 7 page paper to write, but I'll worry that when the other assignment is handed in. One at the time.

Tomorrow's Sound of Music !

Cheers. More later perhaps?

What a season to be beautiful without reason

2011-06-20T01:01:00.000+08:00

It's going to be a busy week. Two assignments to finish and hand in, and a quiz to do in the span of five days. But you know what? I'm feeling pretty good about things. Right here, Right now at this exact moment. With my earphones in and my favourite music accompanying the serious nerding that is going on, I'm good. I have great family and friends, and I'm still alive. I'm still right here.

I spent the weekend meeting up with friends I've known for 6 years or more, and the sheer happiness I felt will ride me through the upcoming week. And then once the week is over, I have the Sound of Music the Musical to attend, plus more friends to see. Motivation's there, now just to carry on with it.

Game face, ON.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

There is time enough for wasting on these endless conversations

2011-06-19T01:29:00.003+08:00

Friday was spent being productive in university for some group assignments, where I was stalked be Ayesha who decided it would be funny to try and hide from me. I hung out with her afterwards where we had nerdy moments of watching vlogs Katy Perry's Last Friday Night and appreciating her sheer nerdiness. That last sentence is one I never thought I'd type. Following which I took a drive to Subang to head to Meeples with Daph to see Philip. We ended up playing games for an hour, a trivia game and a jenga-type block building game. I love games.

Saturday trumped all other days of the month cause I was due to have dinner with the Kakis after a 6 month absence of official dinners. Picked Sel and SuWei up before heading to Greenview for our first Tai Chow dinner, ever. Not exactly the hot coffee shop version yet, but we're getting there. The occasion was Jun and Jean's 19th Birthdays, so the extra glam setting was warranted.

It was just so great to see everyone again after a prolonged absence and to have everyone sitting at the same table. Round tables are a good idea because for once, everyone could talk to each other instead of there being separate conversations going on at each end of a really long table. Like the grown up people we are, we managed to order everything we wanted (K, actually Jong did that), and managed to become utter gluttons and over-ordering as well. The whole night was a big bunch of eating, drinking, catching up and laughing our sorry asses off. The chinese restaurant setting was so fit for us because we didn't have to watch our voices as the entire place itself was really noisy. As a result, we could be as loud as we wanted to without being stared at by everyone around us.

After dinner we all piled into 3 cars and headed to Eve's house for post-dinner fun times. As usual, we all squeezed into the couch area at the kitchen, even though there was ample space all around. Since everyone wants the couch, we stuffed too many people in it with legs and hands being flailed all over the place in a messy tangle. Midway through conversations there's always shrieks and squeals from someone's toes twitching and tickling someone else. Of course, there's your necessary moments of insanity like when Jo started chasing Shern around the kitchen holding a bottle of anchovies, and the former eventually having to protect herself using a ladle and food-cover.

The night was exactly what we needed to catch up with each other since it has been such a long time since we were able to find time to get together. Throw in the usual camwhoring, and the antics of each person and it's a recipe for success. It was one of those nights where everything else in life just didn't matter and I was completely in the present. As many other awesome people that are present in my life, no one can compare to the Kakis. With everyone being so caught up in their lives and academics, it was good to have almost everyone back in each other's life. I know it'll be a short period since everyone will start Uni eventually, I'll take what is available.

As much fun as spending time with the girls and laughing our sorry asses off the whole night, it never just stops there. Coming home to the uploaded photos was cause for yet another round of laughter as we all individually sat at home sifting through the truckload of pictures we took. Being the people we are, hilarious pictures were aplenty. Just reading each other's comments was enough to make my sides ache from laughing like a maniac.

Good Food, Good Friends, Good Fun.

Yeah, we're pretty cool.

A night to make my entire month.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

It's a supernatural delight.

2011-06-16T21:10:00.003+08:00

Wednesday involved a trip to SPCA with some classmates to complete a 4 hour volunteer service as part of our assignment requirement. Driving to the middle of nowhere ( k, it's just Ampang... but far enough) in a dangerously driven car following another dangerously driven car isn't cool. I love how teenagers drive. Can die.

We spent the time messing around with the dogs, some of whom were completely adorable. I took a liking to one particularly cheeky young dog that had a beard. Or whatever you call the dog equivalent of a beard. There was the routine cleaning up of cages and dog food bowls, but nothing particularly hard or icky. We didn't actually have to complete the 4 hours since there was nothing left to do, so the lady asked (well rather, shooed) us to go home. Boy, was the caretaker lady completely frightening. We were all pretty much scared shitless from the way she shouted here and there.

Today itself was such a fascinating day. Beginning with a crazy stressful 106 class where the lecturer decided to give us a game-show style quiz. Having to compete with all the other groups to get the highest marks plus the pressure of having to get the questions answered in the blink of the eye was really quite draining. By the end of the 5th round, a few groups were all contenders for the top spot, guaranteeing them full marks for the quiz.

So, she, in her slightly twisted but amusing manner decides to throw us one final question for the chance to double our marks. Basically, it was like playing a round of poker, all-or-nothing. Each group could place their wager up to the amount of marks that they already owned. Some groups were conservative at 5 (mine included), whereas some even went up to 20. It was crazy "betting" our marks, but completely ingenious at the same time. Eventually, my group got the question wrong, but a fair number managed to hike up the amount of marks they had. I was completely drained from a mixture of excitement, anxiety and nervousness all rolled into one for the 2 hours that class went on. Crazy stuff.

The break after the class was spent with Adelene, Ayesha and Sita, and probably made my entire day. From the usual topics that we talk about, we ventured into asexual animal sex (Bonobo's are serious kinky creatures), followed by a serious and practical discussion of the dynamics of our classmates (and perhaps the lecturer too). Funny how after a long time, some friends fail to come into mind when you think of people who are "hot", even though they are. Friendship can seriously ruin attractiveness.

And then there's the conversation that followed that spanned an entire hour's worth of debate over such serious matters like different cultures and the eventual dilution of it and children and the fear of screwing them up. To top it all off, we even threw in organized religion to stir things up. In the moment, I was (and still am) so thankful to have friends that are able to contribute to discussions in an objective manner, without facing fear of judgement for the things I say. There sat a Muslim, a Hindu and two Buddhists all arguing out our views on organized religion without taking offense to anything being said. Moments like that help me regain some faith in humanity.

In the end after concluding organized religion is a bad idea in the hands of manipulative human beings, we decided to form our own religion, The Religion of Love. Devotees are known as Lovers (said with an extremely suggestive tone), and our god changes every week. Heck, we even have special ways of praying and showing our Love for each other. Crazy? Yep, no doubt about it. But it was fun.

The Anthro quiz today was like suicide in the form of paper. One of the rare times where I stare at a paper and actually have no inkling of what to answer. Most of us just made some educated guesses, walked out and then moped about how bad it was outside the hall. Ah, Anthro will be the death of me.

More on the fact that religion was such a strong topic in our conversation today, it was so funny to come home and watch a NerdzRL vlog that spoke on the exact same topic. A sign? or Pure coincidence?

Cheers. More later perhaps?

I'm wonderstruck, dancing all around alone

2011-06-14T23:52:00.004+08:00

Over the weekend, I had Indian food for dinner three nights straight. Sometimes, I doubt my racial heritage.

Race by the way, is pretty much a social construct. Humans made it up. Our biological differences don't really support the concept of race. Yes, sometimes I pay attention in Anthropology.

I am mildly excited to pack up the entire house, but also appalled at the sheer effort it will take.

I cannot pick curtains to save my life. Where did my creative bone go? Definitely left brained.

Somehow, I managed to go to a lecture hall confidently thinking my class was there before remembering it was at another venue...which turned out to be wrong as well. Third time's the charm they say. Strangely enough, I'm usually the one supplying other people with the venue of the day.

Today was excellent example of why Uni to me is such a fascinating place filled with the most awkward and random of situations. Beginning with me turning around to find someone I was talking to nodding away in completely dead sleep in a matter of seconds. And then there's the conversations that are usually had during break times. Then there is the 2 hour long Taboo session with the classmates which basically turned into a shouting match, often filled with some explicit content. Public place? What public place?

Again, I am reminded of how small the world is when a person being stalked turns out to know who I am and conveniently points it out rendering my ninja skills inexistent.

And then comes the incident of the guy who goes up on stage to "share" with the class that he got unceremoniously dumped over the second least personal form of communication, WhatsApp. Much sympathy ensued, and a fair dose of awkwardness due to the almost complete irrelevance to the topic actually being discussed in class. Can anything make it more awkward? Yep, knowing who the aforementioned dumper was really can make things so much more uncomfortable.

Let's not forget to mention the cute Nobita-esque lecturer that makes going for class so bearable. Every action is observed and commented on, sometimes in strangely perverse ways among the friends.

Someone asked me whether I talked to myself out loud. I don't, most of the time. But it is very apparent that I use this blog (and the other few) to carry out conversations with myself. I don't write to an audience. I write to myself. Nope, that isn't creepy at all. Or so I tell myself.

Nights like this I question why I always procrastinate to the last and end up cramming past bedtime (which is usually still fairly early compared to my peers). Somehow, it always leads me to having such deep and philosophical musings.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

Reality is a lovely place, but I wouldn't want to live there.

2011-06-11T19:25:00.002+08:00

I love using experiments and psychological findings as conversation openers. It applies to everybody, so people always are more willing to listen.

On Thursday I asked a friend what she would be doing for the upcoming holidays. She said swim. Okay sure, biggie. Oh wait, she lives in the MALDIVES??! /sad face.

It's good to hang out with friends and just talk. There needs to be more of this.

I miss the Kaki's. I cannot wait for a Kaki's dinner. It's been too long.

Indian food for a family dinner. Yep, cool stuff.

So the Malaysian government wants to ban file sharing and video streaming sites that people use to infringe copyright with. No Megavideo, no Putlocker, no Warez, no Megaupload. Do you sense the impending doom? All hell is going to break loose if this happens.

Might as well just kill me now.

I'm hungry.

K, assignment crunch time. I think.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

Don't waste your time on me, you're already the voice inside my head

2011-06-08T21:54:00.002+08:00

What do you do when ideologies clash? When the train of thought that occupies us human beings are not of the same origin and neither is it heading towards the same destination? How do your pursue such a debate? A never-ending discussion seems inevitable .

I guess sometimes you just have to agree to disagree.

But at the same time, how well can a person get along with someone who doesn't share common thinking and common perspectives? Diversity is valued, but differences can tear people apart.

Is it foolish to have a hope for the bigger purpose? To believe that life is meant to live not for just what is going on now, but for what can go on in the future?

I value the fact that I have the chance to meet and interact with people of different backgrounds, with different lives. There's always more to learn.

Today I learnt that Ethiopia actually has a cool climate. I always just assumed since it's in Africa, it's scorching hot. Apparently not. And they have beach-lakes.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

This picnic will soon depart

2011-06-06T22:41:00.005+08:00

I spent the weekend multitasking while I watched Bones. I painted my nails while watching Bones. I ironed my wardrobe while watching Bones. I had conversations while watching Bones. I played Animal Crossing while watching Bones.

I am such a bum, but I love it, and I love Bones.

I love going out with people but more times than not, I'd rather stay home and watch shows, read, write, and listen to music. People call it boring. I call it contented.

It makes me sad to exist in a cultural society where women are victimized, and blamed for everything. Just because we are physically inferior (most times), doesn't make us cognitively impaired. We're just as human as the ones with external genitalia. It takes two to play. So why is it that only one can ever be at fault?

Today in the LRT, I pondered over why nobody in the train had the foresight to fill the ends of the carriage up instead of cramming everyone into the middle compartments where the doors are. Is it that difficult to move in?

How much do friends really know about each other?

Cheers. More later perhaps?

I am trying to say what I want to say without having to say

2011-06-04T12:24:00.002+08:00

Midnight. Friday Night. Downtown Kuala Lumpur. I’m at a whole stretch of clubs starting with Beach Club with 3 other 19 year olds.

Where do I end up?

The Milkshake Factory spazzing over which Chocolate to put into my milkshake.

I chose Ferrero Rocher.

I’m such a wild child.

Ah, Story of my life.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

Pull me out of the dark.

2011-06-03T21:09:00.002+08:00

I love how I can come into Anthropology one hour late and not actually miss anything because the lecturer is repeating everything he did last week. I really don't know why I bother going for class.

After 106, me, Ayesha, Justin, Reuben and William went to TCM to watch X-men. From the lecture hall all the way to the main block me and Ayesha just kept shouting "EGG-MAN" at anyone we knew to see if anyone wanted to go. I love it when I find a new friend that is as comparably weird as I am. People like that seem to bring out the best in my weirdness. And yes, that does involve strange jigs in the middle of shopping malls. Poor boys didn't know what hit them.

I tend to judge how awesome people are based on their behaviour when visiting bookstores. If they are as excited as I am, and can carry serious conversations about books, they get a stamp of approval. The same applies to toy stores, and music stores.

X-men was pretty snazzy. I didn't actually even know what it was gonna be about, but I enjoyed it thoroughly. Professor Xavier is so charming. Watching the movie, it kind of made me feel sad because I knew what would become of each of them. It was like watching Star Wars. All these chronologically dysfunctional movies. I was so amused by the bromance action.

One assignment completed, three more to go.

Weather's a bitch today.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

I am the grey in the ghost

2011-05-31T23:27:00.002+08:00

I now know how to drive to LCCT. Yep.

I like the sentence now know how. ow.

Some days, I'm just tired and want to sit in bed and watch youtube videos. Today is that day.

Today I sneezed my ass off from 8am to 4pm. It was miserable. It has returned too.

My nose is sore and leaking like a loose faucet.

Ugh, growing up.

Handphone quiz. Some people are just lousy, irresponsible [insert choice expletive person describing noun]

Cheers. More later perhaps?

A second chance, a near escape

2011-05-29T22:21:00.002+08:00

Dodgeball with the college people on Saturday evening was much enjoyed. Falling on my ass twice consecutively in a similar manner wasn't so much fun. The game itself is one that I dutifully enjoy despite having no skill in it whatsoever. That shouldn't stop me, right?

I am reminded how much I miss college and the people that I got to meet and know there. I miss the Subway lunches, the painfully long breaks spent in the hallway, and most of all, I miss the harmless banter that was always being thrown back and forth.

Coincidences are pretty awesome too, like how mid-dodgeball match I hear someone call "MIRA" from the adjoining road and I turn to look as if that's my name and see Megan flailing her arms. The most logical sequence of events that could've happened of course was the dramatic running to meet her halfway as if we hadn't seen each other in 10 years. But then again, seeing Potato Jr in the middle of a Bangsar housing area is comparable to that.

Then there was the sequence of events that beheld hours after, in the midst of a hopeless football match and some serious assignment working. It's disheartening to want to do something but being held back by so many restraining factors. It does make me question whether it really is the thought that counts? Because words without action carries no leverage, even in such matters.

Also, I am reminded of the blood, sweat and tears that I put in, that everyone has to put in.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

Close enough to start a war

2011-05-27T22:33:00.002+08:00

In the span of less than 8 hours, my laptop was shut down forcibly by pulling the plug. The first time, my aunt's maid accidently off-ed the switch thinking it belonged to the microwave. The next time, I pulled out the battery thinking I was running on DC, only to discover I had not flipped it to on yet.

This really would be so bad... if it wasn't for the fact that I had up to 40 tabs open at one time, for use of my reference to do my LLS assignment. So each time, I had to restore 40 tabs. And out of those, 10 were done manually because they were on databases. Life is good.

I need to start doing my assignments.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

All I've ever known is in the rear view mirror

2011-05-25T00:17:00.002+08:00

Zombie Pirates, Killer Mermaids and Gravity Defying Water. Yep, That's Pirates of the Caribbean alright.

Johnny Depp can do no wrong. But the series itself can. Seriously, give it up already.

Awkward moments are aplenty.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

Give me a disaster, give me an emergency

2011-05-22T22:58:00.003+08:00

Entertaining kids is hard work. I love kids, but my body can't even keep up with them. I sincerely salute parents who can run after their children 24 hours a day, for at least 6 years. And then they have to deal with the obnoxious school years, followed by the angsty teenager. How parents do it befuddles me.

But there's something extremely humbling about watching how simple it is to please a kid. Just pocketing a golf ball and getting a high five for it is enough to get a lovely grin out of them. Don't even get me started on when they actually won something as simple as stickers. Childhood, that's simplicity. All those people that give their kids iPhones and whatever gadget is cool these days, have got it all wrong. All a kid needs are stickers and bubbles.

It was hard work, but it was fun. Being responsible for putting a smile on a kid's face is enough to warm the heart. Getting paid is just the cherry on the ice cream.

The world didn't end. Pfffftttt.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

I can hear the alarm bells ringing

2011-05-21T23:02:00.003+08:00

I watched Schindler's List yesterday, something I've been meaning to do for years now but never got around to doing. It was long as hell, and seemed almost never ending. Even so, it had my unwavering attention from the start. I've always found a keen interest in the Holocaust period, despite how depressing it is. There's so much to learn about those few years of the Nazi occupation, and the dissolution of the Jews. As such, the movie helped to add more to my knowledge of those few years of hell. It was a riveting movie, so realistically portrayed. I was in tears by the end of the movie, just out of sheer frustration that such cruelty could be done to fellow human beings. Liam Neeson and Ralph Fiennes played their parts so well that it was hard to believe they were just playing characters. Definitely a must watch for anyone.

One day, I will visit a holocaust museum to pay my respects.

So many of the most important and entertaining conversations are held in Piccadilly. Heck, we even have a favourite table. Definitely spend too much time there.

Sometimes, shopping is fun.

Family time is always entertaining.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

I think that the clouds like the laughter around us

2011-05-19T22:09:00.002+08:00

Week 1 is over, 8 more to go. Yep.

Random thoughts :

1. Sometimes, its the scary feisty ones that are the best.

2. Nothing like seeing an entire class shut up in two seconds flat due to the entrance of a lecturer with a reputation.

3. In the flow of conversation among Uni friends, there's a definite gravitation towards the perverse and disturbing topics. So predictable.

4. Conversations about the sensitive and the politically incorrect.

5. Watching my 70 year old (?) Anthro lecturer draw a world map from memory using free hand. Respect, right there.

6. Even though there's serious questions of its relevance, listening to Anthro lecturer's ramblings is like listening to a grandfather tell his stories. Good stuff.

7. Its the people that make it worth it. I thrive on human connection.

8. Whipping out handphones to show each other pictures of pets.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

Watched it burn as I touched your face

2011-05-16T23:13:00.003+08:00

I wish new semesters could pass without problems, dilemmas, and fears.

Right now, its between an interesting subject with a relatively good timetable, but a lousy lecturer and a mediocre subject with a bad timetable and a better lecturer.

Which outranks the other?

I think I'm pretty much going to stick it through and see if I make it out alive.

Sigh.

Also, things are falling apart.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

Reaching a fever pitch.

2011-05-15T17:31:00.002+08:00

Uni starts tomorrow. Bum.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

My heels are high, my eyes cast low

2011-05-14T18:49:00.002+08:00

Good days are when you spend 7 hours with your only friend. Shern joined us for brunch at Decanter, which was awesome cause I had a full breakfast like the glutton I am. Then we sat there and talked and I helped her do some econs. I kind of miss econs. I miss the lecturer most of all. Econs was the best. Yes, that is my train of thought.

Eventually after a few hours of bumming, me & Daph went to Curve to watch Water For Elephants. I know right, so girly of us. Well the show wasn't half bad. I liked the animals and the circus theme, so I put up with Robert Pattinson. It fascinates me how the minute RPatz isn't a sparkly vampire, he doesn't look half as bad. Heck, he cleaned up pretty well.

That was Thursday, and Friday was a pretty lousy day by most accounts. I dragged myself to college to settle some stuff for the subject registration of the new semester, and then I found out I couldn't enroll because I hadn't submitted the official SPM Cert. So I had to drive all the way home, grab it and then come back before I could enroll. Talk about a lovely waste of time!

The new semester is going to be a pretty darn hectic one since its only 2 months long, and has double the amount of classes in a week. My schedule is absolutely terrible too. I end at 6pm four days a week. Yes, 6pm. And out of those four days, two days I start class at 8. So that's a good 10 hours in college. The excitement is overwhelming. At least my Friday's are still free!

Thing that I need to remember that happened on Saturday :

I walked into Comics Mart to buy Jay a booster pack of cards, and there was a Magic The Gathring Trading Card Game competition going on. The place was filled with adult males in their fantasy world and it smelled pretty damn musky. Awkwardly, I managed to find what I needed and bought it. Then I realized I had walked in with a shirt that said "I love Nerds", and yes, i was the only girl there. Hmm. Awkward moment.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

I can show you how to build your fences, set restrictions

2011-05-12T00:32:00.003+08:00

First, it was a week plus of heavy rains and crazy winds.

Then, it was almost a week of the sun on steroids and above 35 Celsius temperatures.

And now, the haze.

The weather is a bitch.

Ah, the perils of a country with a tropical climate and Indonesia as its neighbours.

Disclaimer : I've got nothing against Indonesia. They get all the good concerts.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

We are once in a lifetime

2011-05-08T14:15:00.002+08:00

Its been almost a week since the last post, and a satisfying week it has been. Over the past few days, I've gotten to hang out and catch up with friends from high school, roll around with relatives, and bond with new friends from Uni. And I even got to spend time hibernating by myself with my favourite shows and a pillow.

I spend Thursday night with Sofia, Ayesha, Sita, Adelene, Wai Meng and Reuben in a rather impromptu birthday dinner for Sofia. It was fun to hang out with newer friends, and getting to know each other just that little bit better. There was even some sharing sessions going on, which served to be a little bit of a revelation for me. Sometimes it takes people telling you straight up of the things you have to do to get you to do it.

Friday was pretty eventful, and filled with nostalgia of the high school years. Eve picked me up and decided we'd drop by SA to pick up our SPM certs, even though I was wearing shorts (which I did end up apologizing profusely for, and got scolding by one really irksome discipline teacher). We then roamed the hallways and corridors in search for old friends and old teachers to say hi to. It was nice to be back at a place that holds many happy memories and times spent. We missed a few people, but it was good to see people who were parts of our lives over a year ago.

Following which, we ventured to ss15 for lunch with Daph and then a trip to the CPU building where a really big group conversation ensued with people we had never met before. I like visiting people in their colleges/universities cause you get to meet friends of friends and awkward conversation ensues. Sometimes you click, sometimes you don't. We left much later than expected, and then me and Daph bummed at her place until dinner time with Shern and Su Wei. Somewhere between the conversation, we made a wager over which of the Kakis would be the first to get hitched, and even pregnant. Its quite a far off bet, but one that we'll remember in the future.

For a while now I have been feeling rather detached from the people around me, but the week helped to counter that. Fruitful week indeed.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

Switchfoot Live in KL 2011

2011-05-02T01:54:00.005+08:00

Live music. It's exhilarating, it's jaw dropping, it's breath taking. Music in itself has this power to affect people the world over, all of whom are different from each other. Live music on the other hand, holds the power to pull all those different people together. I never tire from live gigs. Despite the ever present agonizing wait and all the downsides, all is forgotten once the show begins. The adrenaline from the first drumbeat, or the first chord being played, it's electrifying. When its a rock concert, the power is double. The music fills your ears, the simultaneous energy erupts from the crowd, and everyone is one, but all in their own little bubble. It's a strange situation, but it's a real one nonetheless.

Switchfoot began with an extremely longwinded journey filled with many wrong turns, and big circles being made with PJ and Su Wei. Eventually we got to the venue only to find that the place was as dodgy as ever, and looked like a prime spot for vice activities to be carried out. That is when the painful and agonizing wait began. (Warning : Rant ahead)

To begin with, there were no proper indications to where the different lines began, so everyone was kind of just milling around the area. This practically vanquished the purpose of showing up 3 hours before the show was due to start to get a good place in front, of course. But fine, lines are somewhat of a myth in Malaysia, so that I can let go. Everyone pretty much patiently waited until 730, which would be around the time everyone assumed they would start letting people in since the show was suppose to start at 8pm. The waiting area before the entrance to the venue was too small to fit everyone, and people were lining up on escalators and probably even to the floor below. What's more, the air cond was pretty much non-existent, so it was pretty much tuna can and sauna combined.

The wait continued until almost 830pm, when they finally started letting people in. All the different ticket holders were all over the place, and instead of a counter for each zone, the counters had to scan and tag people from 3 different zones. Evidently, with the entrance process being such a havoc, it was a slow process. The worst part was the fact that the opening act started playing even before a quarter of the audience could get into the hall. By the time we got in, they were halfway through, and some people only got in after they had finished playing. I recognize the fact that they had to keep to the schedule, but good money was paid to watch the show with the opening act included. It made no sense for the to start the show when more than half the audience were still lining up to get into the hall after being held outside for way too long.

The organizers made no attempt to explain what was going on, or to give proper instructions. We later found out that Switchfoot's plane was delayed, so the whole show was delayed, but no news was passed on to the waiting audience. Everyone would have understood, but were instead left pissed off outside. Even with the show being delayed, starting the show without the audience was completely rubbish. I was pretty much furious by the time I got in, and that pretty much dampened my mood for the show.

Thankfully, my love for music prevailed and by the time Switchfoot came on, I was ready to go. Being a bigger fan and more versed in their music this time around, it was such a thrill to be able to sing along to just about every song played. Even though I could barely see what was going on on stage thanks to some very tall people in front and my own vertical challenge, just rocking out to the music was enough. After all, music is meant to be heard and not seen. Impeccable vocals, strong melodies and rhythms, everything was unbeatable. I was glad to get a good mix of old and new songs, but with a lot of favourites missing from the set list. The biggest disappointment was not being able to hear Yet or Enough to Let Me Go. But nonetheless, I was happy with what was played. It was quite a surprise to hear them play This is Home, but it sounded spectacular as expected.

Proper, Quality music. That's what this is.

Things I want to remember :

1. The relatively (to the mean age) old man who was in the audience and who pulled out a pair of binoculars midshow. Hardcore.

2. When SF were rapping up Needle & Haystack Life and the crowd was singing the ohohoh for the song, they left the stage but the crowd kept going. Midway, the crowd somehow changed the ohohoh's to the melody for Hello Hurricane, causing them to switch their setlist and play that as their first encore. A mash up of epic proportions.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

Underneath the Setting Sun.

2011-04-30T14:23:00.002+08:00

1. Some very yummy Chicken Kurma for lunch on Thursday with Daph.

2. Past noon wake-up times.

3. All day Chuck marathons, Animal Crossing and the lot. Ah, the holidays.

4. Camping out in front of the TV for the Royal Wedding.

5. Kate Middleton's dress was simply exquisite.

6. I will never understand the concept of perching strange items on your heads and calling them "hats". Damn those milliners.

7. Live Music tomorrow !

Cheers. More later perhaps?

PARTYIN' PARTYIN' YEAH.

2011-04-28T01:10:00.002+08:00

FUN FUN FUN.... yeah maybe not.

Exams are over, and it could not be awesomer. No matter how old you are, it'll still be a moment to celebrate. Until 5 days passes and I'm bored to death and in need of intellectual stimulation... K, who am I kidding? It'll take at least one week. *cricket sounds

Its surreal to think that in such a short span of time, the first semester of Uni is over already. Sure, there are many more to go, but it has been a pretty good ride so far. I have good coursemates, and classes have been nothing but enjoyable. Slightly draggy of course, but perfection is an imaginary concept.

Post exam activities included some very confusing planning, and finally dinner with Sofia, Xiau Wei, Shin Ann, Reuben and PJ. Simple do, but it was nice to just kick back and enjoy the free time that we had. That, and some very weird conversations spawned from " the shadows of the balls"... yeah, totally normal.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

There's a fire starting in my heart

2011-04-24T23:23:00.003+08:00

Exam? What exam?

Things I need to document :

1. I am so ready to bum and watch videos all day long. So much to do during the holidays !

2. Samo called me from the Sydney Switchfoot Show during Yet. Friends that would call from from another continent. The best.

3. Self reflection time is a bitch.

4. Fire Island is over. Freedom was sweet.

5. In the span of a week, I lost my two pencils, found a third pencil to replace the two, and then lost that one, and then found back one of the original two. Now I only have one out of three. Seriously, why are they hiding from me? I need to shade my MCQ sheet !

Cheers. More later perhaps?

I'm seeing ghosts in everything I do.

2011-04-20T01:26:00.002+08:00

The tyre of the car died, and I learnt how to replace it with a spare tyre.

It would've been such an effective lesson if only it could be practised in the future. Which wouldn't happen because I can barely even lift the tyre. Everything else, I can do. As hopeless as the rest of the female population in car emergencies.

Sometimes I surprise myself at my ability to procrastinate.

I want to work in Google. But then again, who doesn't?

Cheers. More later perhaps?

We are young, we are free

2011-04-20T01:07:00.003+08:00

Mid-studying week recap :

Saturday was spent first, with Nadia & Shu May for a catch up session, and second, with Daph & Mich for a night of Taboo and Skyping. I took the most painfully long time to finish my food with Nad & Shu May, that even I was surprised at my pace. I've taken slow eating to a new level. After lunch, we decided to station ourselves a the paper crane folding booth to learn how to fold one from the diagram given. Proudly, I announce that I now know how to fold a paper crane ! Woot !

I headed over to the St. Barbara lucky draw finals with Nadia, only to find out that it wasn't a lucky draw but more of a competition. With me being half asleep due to the early morning, and a combination of bad luck and unfair headstarts by the other teams, I eventually got eliminated in one of the rounds. There went my trip to California. Sob. Dejected, we retreated for food where I made a failed attempt of pumping myself up with caffeine. I really was that tired. At least good catching up was had !

Eventually the day passed and I found myself at Daph's, where being the nerds and computer addicts that we are, we chatted with each other on MSN while in the same room. Then we progressed to skyping friends and Photobooth-ing. Many pictures later, and a sneezing fit that saw no end, we stopped for a hot drink break. Following which, we had an insanely long and funny Taboo game before calling it a night with a movie.

Me : Okay, so during the German Nazi regime, there was this young girl...

*Simultaneously

Mich : ARETHA FRANKLIN

Daph : o.O ANNE FRANK

yeah.

I went home and had the best nap to recover from a lack of restful sleep and too much activity.

After recovering from the happening of Saturday, Sunday night was spent in Subang with the foster family of sorts. When your family is so close knit, every aunty becomes yet another mother. Many, many failed attempts of studying happened.

That, and Sound of Music the Musical tickets were purchased. Wooohoooo!

Day 1,2,3 & 4 of Fire Island over.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

Symphony of silver tears

2011-04-16T02:36:00.002+08:00

The last classes of the semester are as good as wrapped up, and the study break has commenced. Finals are approaching, but I've taken quite a back seat on the studying so far. I might regret this later on, but this study break has become quite of an early holiday for me. That's terrible. Lets see the exams over and done with quick, and let the break begin. I will miss uni, and all the people in it, but its much needed respite.

Its been a rather familial week, with plenty of time spent with the relatives (when do I never?). Its nice to know that I have a family that I enjoy, even if they do drive me nuts most of the time. Wrapping up the aunt's visit was a dinner at Le Meridien this night. Buffets are the gateway to gluttony, and should rightfully be abolished. But with that being said, I love buffets. Nothing more appealing than going for round after round of food. And then I ended up with a major bloated episode and wished I hadn't. I blame the desserts. Only time I ever indulge like there's no tomorrow.

Then there was the midweek dinner with some of the Kakis. Its always something to look forward to, and it wasn't one that disappointed. We even ventured to Desa Park City since Mich & Xin had never been there. With no swing set to play with ( i know, the horror) and no benches to sit on, we retired to a spot on the floor (encroaching on a couple's intimate privacy) to play a few rounds of Taboo. Games like that are always more fun with people you've known a long time. Its a waste that the whole group has become ridiculously busy, and with clashing schedules, meeting up has become a hassle. Times like this, I miss my school friends.

Much excitement is up for the weekend, even thought I am supposed to be using it to study.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

Lights will guide you home, and ignite your bones

2011-04-11T20:27:00.004+08:00

I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.

- William Ernest Henley

I watched Invictus twice in three days. Out of some odd coincidental chain of events, two days after finally catching it on TV, I had to watch it during my Psych lecture. Its such a poignant reminder of the black marks on human history, and the strength of individuals who choose to prevail. The characters were played really well, and it was a movie that excelled due to its cast and the emotions they brought. It surprised me how absorbed I was into the show that I was on the verge of tears towards the end.

The poem that the movie is named after is such a simple one, yet profound it innumerable ways. It speaks so much for Nelson Mandela's strength, and his will to persevere against the trials and tribulations that he has had to face. It baffles me how someone could escape that cycle of hate and fear that is so often practised in humanity, and transform it into the hope and faith needed to unite his countrymen. Trying to understand things like this is why Psychology appeals to me so much. What drives people? How do you find motivation in the darkest of hours? Every life is one's own, and it is up to him/her to choose what to do with. Circumstances can hinder and delay, but never prevent. I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul.

Cheers. More later perhaps?

I will not touch you in the dark if I cannot love you in the daylight

2011-04-09T00:20:00.002+08:00

To begin with, I am suspicious of the odd coincidence that sparked today in relation to KLPAC and the shouting extravaganza that ensued. Strange the fact that twice now, a major row was had just before I headed off to the centre.

And then there's the thought of how I find myself struggling to keep my calm, and to extend more tolerance. I try, with every fibre in me to keep breathing and just be cool about things, but sometimes it just fails me. And it's disappointing. Today really was just a day where everything was in place for me to blow my top. Talk about a serious need for zen.

Then there was the show itself, Indicine Live, which I attended in a show of support for Calvin. Other than losing our way and spending a lot of time wandering around like lost sheep, it was a fab night. The show itself was sketch comedy based, and had me in stitches most of the time. Being Malaysia, there's such a multitude of things to pick on and use as material, everything is funny.

Which leads me to my next train of thought. I always have a strong admiration for members of the arts community who dare to step out of the box and shed new light on "sensitive issues". In such a conservative country with so many things hanging in the balance, a touch of humour is much appreciated to really put things in perspective at how mindlessly trivial the things that the powers that be focus on daily. It takes artsy fartsy people to touch on issues that everyone thinks about, but never really dares to talk about. And all for a few laughs. The day when the majority of people can sit back and enjoy such a show, will be a good day. Until then, the minority who just couldn't be bothered to feel offended at being poked fun of will have to keep the ball rolling.

Cheers. More later perhaps?